h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a little bit like 'knowing where your towel is', always having perfectly paired, matching socks, and symultainiously knowing where all these perfectly paired, identicle paired socks, are.
Inner tranquility can only result from such a calming peace as this can create
I made a fatal error when I las purchased socks, which has done nothing to increase the zen of my soc drawer

The purchase before last, I made myself. Eight pairs (or was it ten or was it twelve? I'll never know now).
Each sock was the same colour and weave as the other and each sock had a narrow ring (of the same colour as each other and as all the other socks in that batch but different from the sock itself.)

Ah, Bliss!

Unfortunately, they were not of good quality and soon, one by one, were consigned to the darkness of sock abyss due to holes in the position of my big toe nail. I don't know which toe because they (the socks, that is) were the same inside out as they were inside in or outside in or outside out (and yes, I did. After the second hole appeared, I kept both of those toenails carefully short - but to no avail.
On the last day I was hopping around, quite busily.

Do I need to tell you? No? But oh, I will: you may gather that it was Ms Stress that made the current purchase. Very much better quality so they will last much longer but each has a colour patch on the toe and a patch of the same colour on the heel. Sixteen socks, eight colours.
I can assure you that that is not a happy situation to be in, dammitt.




OK, it's over now, you may return to your other readings.

p.s.

Nice entry, Vestboy.

Yes, agreed, nice entry

I always* used to do the yearly, or twice yearly ritual of throwing out all* my socks, and buying however many pairs of identicle ones, each identicle to any of the other socks, so any two could be formed into a pair...
Sadly the last time I purchased, I saw these socks... and they were really* good, and really* decent value, and as it turns out, very good quality and long-lasting... only problem, they're not all identicle!

Some time ago I bough several pairs of "almost the same" , thinking I could match any with any, but of course I couldn't, so pairing these was a very drawn out task.
Now I buy six pairs of socks at a time (or, more often, my lovely wife does it for me), all the same colour and style, but each with a different emblem or coloured stripe on each. I currently have six pairs, with different "smileys" on each pair, so matching is easy.

After the wash I never throw out an odd sock unless it's partner has been damaged beyond repair (i.e at all), because I am sure to find the partner during the next wash, yet I still have several unmatched socks: is there a black hole in my washer or dryer, or is it an alien plot to drive me crazy?

Yes, there is a sock monster who pilfers socks and hides them until in frustration you throw away its marrow (OE and now Geordie for partner or work mate*). Then the sock monster magically makes the lost sock reappear, but not straight away, to torture you with the riddle of, Did you actually throw away its marrow, or are you still looking for it?

*In cockney rhyming slang my friend is "Me old cock sparrow" if you wondered what it actually rhymed with, now you know.