A Conversation for Ireland's First Olympic Medallists

Peer Review : A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 1

KB

Entry: Ireland's First Olympic Medalists - A87392839
Author: KB - traa dy liooar - U891566

A little something for the Olympic Entries collection.

Thanks for reading!


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 2

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - applause Much fun to be had here, and a true eye-opener.

I had no idea there were medals for painting and poetry. smiley - biggrin

This is the sort of entry that makes the browser stop and say, 'Oh, cool.' smiley - winkeye

I have no criticism. If we can't get a public domain copy of that Yeats painting, maybe you could draw us some Liffey swimmers (or Oliver St John Gogarty) in a similar style?


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 3

KB

There's a link to the painting in the National Gallery online -- I'll include that when I'm adding links. I'll have a think about illustrations, too. smiley - cheers


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 4

Gnomon - time to move on

This is a great entry, KB, but I don't think the title does it justice. I looked at it thinking it was going to be a dull report about some minor athlete, and it turned out to be something totally different. Do you think you could change the title to draw the readers in more, without giving the game away?

"It was for this event, held the same year as the Paris Olympics, which Gogarty originally wrote the Ode. "

which --> that

The Liffey Swim -- you don't actually mention something which is obvious to you and me but may not be to the reader - the Liffey is the river that flows through the centre of Dublin.

"it was still a major spectacle for onlookers. Yeats' painting captures something of the spectacle" -- try replacing one of those "spectacles" with a different word to avoid repetition.

The Ancient Olympics Games, at some point in their history, featured trumpeting as an event, since this was a necessary accomplishment on the battlefield. Don't know whether that needs to be mentioned here or would fit anywhere.

smiley - oksmiley - booksmiley - galaxy


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 5

toybox

I agree with Gnomon that the title doesn't do the Entry justice.

A fascinating piece of Olympic history smiley - biggrin

(And no editorial comments from me.)


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 6

toybox

smiley - eureka

And at last I understand the meaning of Gnomon's signature! smiley - towel

smiley - offtopic


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 7

Bluebottle

I thought it was a perfect entry. My only question is I can't help wondering whether the Tailteann Games has categories for poetry and painting?

<BB<


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 8

Gnomon - time to move on

Jack Butler Yeats, brother of William, took the silver medal for painting with his oil painting "The Liffey Swim". Oliver St John Gogarty - known to all good Joyce scholars as the inspiration for stately, plump Buck Mulligan - earned a bronze for literature with "Ode to the Tailteann Games".

I think it might be better if you moved the descriptions of Yeats and Gogarty away from this initial section into the sections about the two winning entries. I think this would have more impact:

Jack Butler Yeats took the silver medal for painting with his oil painting "The Liffey Swim". Oliver St John Gogarty earned a bronze for literature with "Ode to the Tailteann Games".


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 9

Geggs

Interesting stuff. Would you happen to know these Olympic events stopped? You mentioned when they started, which prompted the question in my mind.


Geggs


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 10

KB

It's a good point about the title - I'd like to keep that little bit of surprise for people who assume it'll be about sprinters and javelin-throwers, but the current title wouldn't really grab my attention, either. I'll have a think about it. smiley - ok

smiley - biro You're right about the Liffey, Gnomon - good call. I'll add a bit more under the "Liffey Swim" section to make that clear.

smiley - biro Geggs - also a good point. I'll add something about that in. The Olympic Art Competitions became very controversial because artists could sell their works after the event. That called into question whether or not they were "amateurs", in the spirit of the Olympics. (Of course, we now have professional sportsmen competing, too.) The closest thing we have now to the Art Competitions are the competitions to design the Olympic torch, or the mascot, or the official poster, etc.

While there's a lot that *could* be added, I probably won't actually *add* a lot to this entry - for instance, the Tailteann Games, or The Boxing Parson, or Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell, would probably make good Entries of their own. As would one on the 1924 Olympics itself. But trying to cover it all in one entry would cover a lot of ground too thinly.

Some good ideas from you. smiley - ta

KB


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 11

Sho - employed again!

Taking into account what everyone else said, the only thing I could possibly add is that since it's an entry about the Irish medal winners, you don't really need the last sentence about Tarzan winning a medal (sorry, too lazy to look and I can't spell his name smiley - nahnah

But what a brilliant idea for an entry, beautifully written too.
smiley - kiss


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 12

KB

Awww, poor Tarzan. But I see what you're saying. I'll give him the snip. Erm, in a manner of speaking...


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 13

Sho - employed again!

You have to be cruel to be kind (your next entry could, for example, be olympic athletes who went on to have a film career. There's Tarzan and... er... ok perhaps not)

smiley - smiley


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 14

KB

Arnie Schwarzenegger was an olympic weightlifter, I think...smiley - eureka

But I'll pass on that entry I think - it would turn into one of those "Hello" magazine profiles of the rich and famous that send me to sleep. smiley - laugh


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 15

Sho - employed again!

I know you WAY better than that. You'd find some totally cool dudes who had done stuff, like uncovering that Tommy Lee Jones used to do the pole-vault or something...


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 16

KB

No, but I've heard Brian Blessed was a mean synchronised swimmer!

Ok, back to business:

smiley - biro I've tweaked it to mention what the Liffey is, and added a footnote about the trumpeting - it struck me as interesting.

smiley - biro Still need to add a bit about the end of art in the Olympics

Question: should names of events be capitalised? It looks odd that they aren't. smiley - erm

smiley - biro Still thinking about the title. Would something like "The Odd Story of Ireland's First Olympic Medallists" be enough to keep the surprise, but be more enticing?


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 17

Sho - employed again!

like the new title, and yes, i prefer them to be capitalised
smiley - tea


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 18

KB

Cheers. I think I still have a fair bit of work to do here before I'm happy with it. I hope to get it done over the next day or two.


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 19

McKay The Disorganised

I see know reason to give Tarzan the chop - many people know he was an olympian and it helps put a nail on the tail ot the tale.

smiley - ok

smiley - cider


A87392839 - Ireland's First Olympic Medalists

Post 20

Little Lost Mammoth

How's it coming along?

smiley - biggrin


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