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Blatttrrrrllll.

Post 1

Still_WRD

Back in school again, and I can't seem to get myself motivated.
School isn't real life. It feels like it sometimes, but it's far too structured and contained. This school, at least. It's a tiny private college run by very conservative Lutherans. So we have things like curfews at 20 years old, and no alcohol on campus, even in your blood stream, and papers applying Aristotle's laws of Learning to Jesus' ministry. It's all rather silly, I think, and I am a conservative Lutheran. There are so many people on this campus that don't realize that this isn't real life - people who have gone to private schools their whole lives, who don't realize that in when they leave this place, they will encounter many people who don't share their beliefs.
Of course, this semblance of reality puts us at ease, and makes us feel safe in our created little world. Causes us to make choices based on what this mirage offers us. I have made a decision, and probably one that I will end up regretting. And yet, knowing this, I have still made it. I am caught in the fight between two of my major personality traits: idealism and fatalism. How both can exist within one person as strong and driving belief systems is the topic for another day. So, will everything turn out all right, like I want it to, like my idealistic, blinded-by-this-school/life-ruse side says it will? Or will I end up paying dearly for a decision I know I shouldn't have made, like my fatalistic side claims? Oddly enough, I can't make myself care. I have made my decision, and what comes of it will come.
I've taken to drinking tea of late. I always used to love coffee - a little too much, even. Tea is good, though. I cannot say that I have ever encountered a hot drink that I did not enjoy, from coffee to mulled wine to hot chocolate.


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