h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Flame,

You and Xantief are two of a kind when it comes to writing. Just... well, just first-class!

This is beautifully expressed. It flows eloquently along like the river in the story.

The story itself is a topical one, with the current controversy about arranged marriages taking place in the UK, or UK citizens being forced into such arrangements under the illusion of being sent to their relatives for a holiday in India or elsewhere, only to find a stranger-husband quickly imposed upon her. Marriage under duress!
This piece, like all your pieces is full of believable, colouful imagery, sights and sounds, feelings and worryings. Also inner turmoil and nightmares versus 'daymares'. The external and inner conflicts... the ultimate acceptance of one's situation as perhaps, well just possibly, liveable. Resignation to one's fate.



Only one tiny error you've missed...
'on her wedding day'... you'll see it for yourself!

Ron

f.

Hello Ron,
Thank you for reading. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Also many thanks for your kind and encouraging words. I'll keep them in mind as I struggle on with the second half, some of it I've done. I'd love to say that my writing comes easy, but it really doesn't.

There was something that I saw on the TV which inspired me to write this story. I don't want to give the ending away, so I'll tell you more about it when I've finished.....

Glad I made you laugh earlier. (the nightie) When I read your reply I burst into laughter.

Flame

Wedding way, lol. It was wedding day, I promise. I must have changed something there....

Good evening

Hope you enjoyed the holiday weekend. We've certainly had some fine weather. I've posted a further chapter to my story, and I'm now working on the ending. I'll be pleased to get it finished, yet at the same time I'm already wondering what I'll write about next. Still, I'm sure I'll think of something.

I'm off to Budapest at the end of next week - so I'm also thinking about my holiday. Woo hooooo!

Flame

Hello Flame,

Forgive me!
I saw your message last night, but I was rather tired and we decided to call it a day.
We did enjoy the weekend, quiet though it was, for us anyway.
And the weather tonight is very warm, humid even. I shall take a look at your new chapter if you so wish.
You will be looking forward to your holiday in Budapest, I am sure. But we will talk before then I hope.


Ron

f.

Hello

Thanks for your message. It was good to hear from you.

I'm still working on the ending of the story - slowly getting there. It's there if you want to read it......

Cheers,

Flame

I'll have a read tomorrow morning Flame, when my mind is fresh and I have more energy.
Looking forward to seeing how it's developing for you.

It was so warm last night that I couldn't sleep very well, although tired.

We have a summer weight duvet, but I shall sleep uncovered on the mattress tonight; even summer duvets are too warm. I think they are a ridiculous French invention, they are 'inflexible' in the sense that they are either 'all' or 'nothing'. Pyjamas are covering enough for me!

Ron

f.

Hi Flame,

I have some interesting news for a writer such as yourself.

The magazine to which I am a subscriber is setting up, together with BBC Radio 4 and other organizations, the world's largest ever prize for the best British short story: £15,000 first prize; £3,000 for the runner-up, and 3 others will get £500 each. The winning story and the runner-up are to be published and distributed free by the magazine.
The magazine already publishes one short story (fiction)in each monthly edition.

So, get your skates on!

Ron

Good evening
Thanks so much for the information. I'll certainly consider it. Sounds like a top class competition. Maybe you could let me have some further details, or point me in the right direction.

I'm still working on The Arrangement. I've removed it from my PS - but that's only on a temporary basis. I've reworked quite a bit of it, and in the end it seemed easier to paste it back into a word document and work from there. I'm almost finished. Woo hooo! I'll post you when I've put it back again. Typing away to you the other day helped me to have a rethink.......

Thanks for your help

Pauline

Pauline,

Go to: bbc.co.uk/radio4 ...where you may obtain all details!


Ron

Afternoon,

Thanks for that. I'll take a look.

I've posted my story back this morning. It's finished. (well sort of) It still need a bit of editing, but it's all I can give it at the moment. Hope the story works....

Flame

Ah! OK,

I'll have another read if that's alright with you!

Get back to you later today...rather busy with my new duties...trying to fit everything in!

Ron

Great, look forward to the feedback.

Dear Flame

I just read The Arrangement and once again, the hair on the back of neck stood on end, my blood ran cold. You have a gift.


Your fan

MUF

Hi,

Thanks for your generous words

Will you be posting any of your own writing? I'd love to see it if you do. It's also a great way to meet new people around here....

My words are not as generous as yours. I am afraid I am suffering from writer's block these days. My head is full of ideas, images and thoughts which I cannot convey into words.

It is a pleasure to read your work.

Your fan

MUF

A grim story, yet beautifully written, Flame. I was drawn into every scene.

One small quibble on my part: do mosquitos and doctors need the apostrophes?

'The Arrangement' certainly deserves a wider audience.

Well done!

Xantief

Good afternoon Flame,

I endorse absolutely what Xantief has just said about your completed story. He is right, it does deserve a wider audience, and I think you should expose it to that general public scrutiny. You have to be prepared, of course, for a whole range of both positive and negative responses. Unlike your present audience here, many so-called 'readers' won't see it for what it is! They may be insensitive to the beauty of your English expression, only seeing the story through jaundiced, unsympathetic eyes. They may see it through 'political' eyes: as a criticism of their cultural or social mores. But you should, I feel, steel yourself and weather any 'storm' in the public domain just for the wider appreciation and personal satisfaction of your skills of authorship. Art has to be shared to be complete.
But this is lovingly and beautifully crafted, and it shows! That is what we are all trying to achieve on h2g2; some more successfully than others! I am one of 'the others' unfortunately.

Two tiny points (sorry!): The child's face is seemingly 'framed' by her eyes...this is impossible... but her large brown eyes can be framed by her oval face. Consider re-phrasing. The correct expression is (C.O.D.)
'cross-legged'. Forgive my pedantry!

Ron

Good afternoon Ron,

I've posted The Arrangement, but receieved no further reviews as yet.

Xantief and I have started a five word game. I wondered if you'd like to join in on the thread when you have the time. All you need to do is post the next five words. The rules are explained on the first post. Maybe you could create the next five?

Flame

I'd love to Flame, but after we've had our evening dinner, when my brain'll be functioning a little better! (Well, I can but hope!)


Ron