h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where do you get all of these ideas?

There are two schools of thought here:

1. That aliens arrive in small green spaceships (or is it small green aliens arrive in spaceships? I never can remember that one) and hand me pieces of engraved gold foil containing their profound revelations, which I then decipher laboriously and post to H2G2.

2. That I just make it all up.

I'm inclined to version 2, but I'm open to persuasion

I thought it was very good! I must try and get an imagination one of these days!

I think I got mine by saving up packet tops from Golden Nuggets, but I may be wrong about that.

I am very concerned to find that the primary response to the article regarding the true reasons for sweet and metallic fragrance in British tea is a series of short outbursts, whose essence can be seen mainly in that their headlines are “hehehehehe!”. (Which is, BTW, not even a proper word!)
I must express my gratitude to those aliens, even if I am quite sure that you are not telling us every little bit of their revelations.
But this truth is alarming! And it does explain a few strange facts. I am sure that British Tea, complete with drug and sounds*, was served at a wide range of international events, causing them to happen in a manner leaving a whole lot of this to be somebody else’s problem, which in turn rendered it to be the problems of people who were definitely not at all capable of solving them, thus rendering them unsolved to this day.
(Whew, quite a claim, that one.)
A few examples:
What happened to all the fuzz about going to the Moon? Did they have tea at NASA? I bet they did.
And just when Mikhail Gorbachev was starting on all of his perestroika and glasnost, something went haywire and he suddenly left everything to Boris Yeltsin. Today, Gorbachev is – when best – an Italian game-show host. I bet somebody fed him tea as well.
Not to mention the fact that in spite of 85% of the Danish population not wanting any bridge to be built between Denmark and Sweden, the bridge is now in existence. I bet the politicians had tea that day!
And here I am, writing nonsense about a no-good and, come to think of it, very uninteresting article, which really isn’t my problem to deal with anyway. I guess I’ll just go and have another cup of that tea I purchased when visiting London…
Yawn…

*: Note that (A) I don’t remember how to actually create a proper footnote and (B) with the appliance of satellite transmission today, the hypnotic sounds can be received worldwide. I don’t know if I find A or B to be the more alarming factor.

The most recent experiment was by the French, aiming to cover up their nuclear tests on Muroroa Atoll. This failed because the New Zealanders have too much good taste for the metallic tea to work, and the Australians drink only beer (attempts to inject the drug into Fosters went undetected, obviously, since the beer is delievered in tins, but the alcohol changed the formulation to roduce extreme beligerence).

As the sheep:person ratio in New Zealand is approximately 22:1, they might have had more success in putting it into sheep feed or grass. This would mean that the SEP drug would get into the human food chain anyway, the majority of inhabitants in New Zealand would be affected, and the drug could possibly be modified in order to allow the sheep to activate it themselves. Similarly, it would be possible to introduce the drug into the Australian ecosystem by putting the drug into the dubious contents of Australian meat pies, consumed in immense quantities after big booze sessions. Oh and, strangely, according to an Australian mate of mine, Aussies have never heard of Fosters. Or Castlemaine XXXX. Weird that, considering that they are 'traditional Aussie beers'.

Jelly Babies,

Doc.

Hey, I've heard of Fosters. And XXXX too!

Oh, did I mention I'm an Aussie? I can also sing the XXXX ad if you like, although I can't remember any of the ads for Fosters. Speaking of ads, (and not that this article has anything to do with ads, except maybe if the fact that they're still in existence has something to do with a SEP field at the networks, and even then, hm, they make money out of them, so why should they care if ads spoil perfectly good TV?) the best ad on Australian television imo is also an ad for beer - Carleton New actually. And I would describe it here if you're really interested, but for now I think I'll shut up, having got off the topic in a rather big way.

Tell me about the add. Please?

OK, so there's a guy walking his tiny little dog outside a bar, and this girl calls for him to come and get a drink. There's a sign on the door of the bar saying "No Dogs Allowed".

Next thing you see, he walks in wearing dark glasses and says "A schooner of New please" (A schooner is one of the glass sizes we use, and Toohey's New is the beer). The barman says "Sorry mate, we don't allow dogs in here." The guy says "It's a guide dog mate." The barman says "A guide dog? Guide dogs are German Shepherds(I forget how you spell that so please excuse the spelling) or Laboradors". The guy looks dumbstruck and replies "Well, what've they given me?"

That is a ripoff of some old, stupid joke, I think. But here's to Australia!!! I would love to go there someday, but my ATTAINABLE goal is Las Vegas, Nevada!! I'm going in January!

I like Foster's beer, but I hear Aussies detest it!! Oh well, I like Canadian beer best anyways. Moosehead RULES!!!!!!

oh, hi Sad, mad, or bad. Just a little drunk and seeing some old postings....

I hope you have a wonderful time in Las Vegas! The closest I ever got was San Francisco.

Actually, after all this talk about beer, I have to shame-facedly admit, I don't drink the stuff. I'm a wine and champagne girl, myself.

Now you come to mention it, I know a lot of Aussies that drink beer, but none who drink Fosters, so you could be right about that one.

And my posting wasn't that old I seem to reply to a whole bunch and then notice much much later that the message I'm replying to was written last year. Or something like that.

I just meant that it showed up near the top of my list, but I hadn't posted here for weeks! So, just wine and Champagne? Or do you like Margueritas and White Russians and such? My girl likes them, but I'm mostly a beer drinker, with an occassional shot/mixed drink/illegal substance on the side...

Oh sometimes I drink cocktails, but a nice bottle of champagne is what I like the best. I leave the scotch and the beer to my husband.

If you folks were my guests, I'd offer him a Tulamore Dew on the rocks(my favorite sippin' whiskey), my girlfriend could hook you up with some tasty wine, but she likes margueritas mostly. I think we drink too much, I went on the wagon last week; I made it from Monday to Saturday, and now I'm drunk again! (but happy! )

I went tee-total at the weekend, and since then I've been to a University Christmas Party at the Student's Union, and I've been out with the Hockey Club. Through both, I drank Tango and water. I've never felt better. I feel fitter, more alert, less tired. I just feel fantastic.

A tee-total student. That must be something of a rarity.

Necr