h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First: a short subject. What's more fun than watching gifted young people play piano? Watching gifted young people play piano with cats. This cat is lovin' it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyk9qA8iTG4

The cat's name is Haburu. He isn't deaf. He is not a fan of the glissando.

Now, on to politics.

We give you Bernard Sanders (b.1941), the avuncular firebrand socialist US senator. Bernie appears to be determined to emulate his hero Eugene V Debs (about Debs here: A87835116 ) by running for president as many times as possible. Everybody loves Bernie, even if they wouldn't vote for him. He's as popular as the current occupant of the White House isn't.

Bernie is adorable. You cannot get too much of Bernie, unless you're a five-year-old. And thereby hangs a tale, as they say.

Recently, a Vermont cable-access station unearthed hours and hours of 'Bernie Speaks', a low-budget public affairs programme produced by Burlington, Vermont's then-mayor Bernie Sanders in 1981. His intro music was 'We Shall Overcome'. The title cards were hand-lettered in magic marker.

Bernie had had practice at this: before entering politics, he used to produce educational filmstrips for schools on topics such as...wait for it...Eugene V Debs. Yes, we've got that one. Prepare to yawn, even if you like Eugene V Debs (which I do). You will also laugh. Try the first few minutes, though the whole 29 will make you agree with the high schooler who probably thought, 'That's a half-hour of my life I won't get back.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4i054Ylips

Okay, back to Bernie's cable show, which wasn't like 'Wayne's World' at all. It was more surreal than that. For instance, who else would stage a fundraiser at a poetry slam? Here's Bernie reading Dylan Thomas' 'Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night'. (No, Bernie, we don't believe you ever will.) I've cued it up for you. [Brits? You know how you feel about John Bercow saying things in parliament? We feel that way about Bernie's voice. It's mesmering.]

http://youtu.be/zYg9fgqiR08?t=2824

Media commentators and political pundits are poring over the hours of Bernie material. They are getting what they deserve. At 46, Bernie Sanders was exactly what he is at 77: earnest, definite, and determined to champion fairness, universal health care and free education for all. More power to him.

But as Trevor Noah points out, Bernie does not know how to talk to five-year-olds. There's a clip of Bernie addressing a kindergarten class on the importance of education. Now, you and I know how to do this.

'Kids, why do we go to school?' 'To learn.' 'That's right!' [Ignoring Tommy in the back, who yelled, 'To hit Jimmy with the dodge ball at recess!'] Task accomplished.

Bernie: 'Do you kids feel that it is important to go to school, get an education, and learn to read?' [Wrong approach.]

Tommy: 'Nah. I don't want to read.' [Told you.]

Bernie: 'I think you're dumb.'

Hilarity ensues, especially when he starts quizzing them on tobacco and cocaine use. One of the kids says, 'I don't smoke. I'm only five.' It's a good thing five-year-olds can't vote.

If you want more of this free entertainment, go on Youtube and type in 'Bernie Sanders cable show'.

UK, you are not free from the Sanders family: Bernie's older brother and nephew are both in the Green Party over there. Here's a Larry Sanders UK clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7F3tbYJQ0Q

The Meowssage of Haburu is fascinating - the cat didn't mind the bits that moved under hir head, but the glissando must have tickled!

Bernie's voice is mesmerising - I've seen a bit of him on the news from time to time, but not really heard him speak. I don't have much experience of five year olds, either - on the one hand they aren't babies, but on the other hand there is a limit to how much anyone can analyse in one go, so I can imagine the sentence with three components was too much!

" Now, you and I know how to do this.

'Kids, why do we go to school?' 'To learn.' 'That's right!' "

Sounds simple, but I can imagine it is challenging for kindergarten teachers to construct this simplicity... (I wasn't the best tutor, because I found the maths I was teaching quite easy, so it was hard for me to work out how to help the people who didn't 'get it' like I did...)

I know what you mean, Sasha--though my sister-in-law credits me with passing a uni math class, I think I more reminded her of concepts she'd had in high school than actually teaching her anything.(She's 10 years older than me, so it'd been a bit longer for her than it'd been for me, even discounting that I'd had uni and she hadn't.) This was before i'd become an aide--before I'd become a mom, even, maybe. But even after being an aide for 12 years, I still can't help with literacy much until someone can read enough to start working on fluency. If someone can't parse phonemes, or even associate the most common sounds with letters, I can't do much to help. Letter identification's easier, because alphabet go fish exists, as does alphabet bingo (which is great when you've got a table full of kids and you don't want to deal with who gets to go first )

I had a reading-resistant kindergartner in an ESL class once.

I had big interlocking foam blocks. I spelled out C-A-T.

'What's this?'

Kids: 'Cat!'

'That's right.' I picked up the B. 'B. Buh!' 'Good.' I changed C-A-T to B-A-T. 'Now, what's this?'

Reading Resister: 'Uh...there's a bird outside the window!'

This went on for awhile, then one of the kids pulled the fire alarm because she could read and it said 'Pull Down', so she did.

Ah, yes, the derailers. And Mrs. P wasn't the hardest to derail if you weren't flat-out refusing