h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yesterday, along with everybody else in the US except probably the Hoggetts, who were busy farming and calling me from Walmart, I watched former FBI director James Comey testify before the US Senate Intelligence Committee.

It is not clear whether the former director's detailed testimony about his 9 meetings with the president will change anything, but Republican senators apparently thought it might. They asked him questions that were convulated in their logic. Unkind people might possibly suspect that they were trying to make sure that Mr Comey only blamed the president for (conceivably, maybe) trying to obstruct justice (which is illegal) and didn't discredit the 2016 election results. These same unkind people might possibly suspect that a motivation for this would be to allow the party to ditch the sitting president, possibly by means of impeachment or invocation of the 25th Amendment, and install the vice president in the office.

These unkind people would probably be unhappy about the prospect, merely because, if they don't like the president very much, they are unlikely to enjoy the views of Mr Pence much better.

I hope that was all clear. Now to the jokes.

About 10 minutes after Mr Comey said in testimony, 'Lordy, I hope there are tapes,' someone on Twitter claimed to have made hemp t-shirts. The tapes referred to are ones the president alluded to in a somewhat threatening tweet directed at Mr Comey.

Speaking of tweets, there were *none* from the White House occupant all day. He was in Cincinnati for some reason. You remember those unkind people? They probably think the White House staff organised this field trip to keep the president busy. They also probably accuse the White House staff of hiding the president's mobile. So far, today's presidential tweeting has limited itself to 'Despite so many false statements and lies, total and complete vindication...and WOW, Comey is a leaker!' and 'Great reporting by @foxandfriends and so many others. Thank you!'

Over in Russia, our Solnushka has retweeted the gem, 'Can you imagine being that one aide who's stuck trying to explain to Trump what a "hung parliament" is...? '

One last titbit about the hearings. Later in the day, Senator John McCain (b.1936) dropped in to ask questions. Everybody was tired by then, but when McCain got started, they perked up and became totally confused. Nobody knew what he was asking, including Mr Comey. There was an air of dreamlike surreality about it all.

If you want to read about it, try the Washington Post, who called the questioning 'bizarre':

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/06/08/sen-john-mccains-bizarre-questioning-of-comey/?utm_term=.4ff44cb5f08f

Notice what a good reporter I am: I'm not giving any opinions here, just reporting the facts, with lots of quotation marks.

Obviously, my unconscious mind was really working on these political issues...nah, just kidding. Here's what I dreamed last night:

I time-travelled back to the Middle Ages, for some reason. I found myself in a rather tidy castle where a dignified librarian who looked uncannily like Derek Jacobi asked for my help in tutoring the princess. Cool, I said. I can teach her how to read and write in Anglo-Saxon, and discuss 'contemporary' literature...

Dreams are silly like this.

But, I lamented, all my good reference books are back in the future.

No problem, says Derek Jacobi. See this suspiciously modern-looking library table? Hold out your hands, and visualise the books...

I did so, and found myself holding half a shelf of printed books between my outstretched hands: Kleber's annotated Beowulf, Bright's Anglo-Saxon Grammar and Reader, Seamus Heaney's Beowulf translation...

I noticed that one of the books was loosely wrapped in a crinkled paper. I started reading it. In red felt-tip, it was a message for the librarian from the future. But the message warned me that it would fade away in 3 minutes, so I had to memorise fast. The ink started disappearing from the bottom of the page. I woke up and cursed Bruce Geller.

Okay, the real news is more logical than my dream. But only marginally.

Medieval librarians all looked like Derek Jacobi. Or is it Derek jacobi who looks like a medieval librarian ?

Seriously though, he's perfect for the part. Your brain would make a wonderful casting director.

Thanks, I think!