h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Superfrenchie's on holiday this weekend, in Normandy. When she told me she was going, I sent her a song on our collective Core Team working IM thread. The song was probably not well-chosen. It was 'Our King Went Forth to Normandie', a 15th-century ditty praising Henry V. Superfrenchie said something about 'Americans'. Robbie Stamp happened by and asked if that were Superfrenchie singing. She replied, 'We don't celebrate defeats.'

I am from Tennessee, so I was surprised. 'You don't? We do it all the time. Haven't you heard of Confederate Memorial Day?'

Europeans may not realise it, but North Americans whose families have been here long enough have some weird naming traditions. Sometimes, the names tell us things we didn't want to know. Of course, if you have an ancestor named Flee Fornication Hopkins, you can empathise.

I had a great-grandfather named Robert Lee Gheorgheni. Yes, his daddy, Black John Gheorgheni, has 'CSA' on his headstone. I don't know if he was just being a diehard when he named his son, or whether he thought 'Robert Lee' sounded good and was politically tone-deaf…I never got to ask him. Fortunately, the trend did not last, and my grandfather didn't get a Reb name. The Gheorghenis moved on.

This is not nearly as bad as my friend Linda. Her son's first name is Major. As she explained it, her husband's great-grandfather wanted to name his firstborn after his commanding officer – but didn't know his first name. So 'Major' became a popular first name in this Southern family. The current Major has a great sense of humour, which is just as well.

All of which is to explain the flap over the current US Attorney General. That's our top lawyer. His name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. That name needs to be 'unpacked', as they say.

The 'III' means ol' Jeff is the third to bear this name. His grandfather was born in 1860, and was named after Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederacy, and Pierre Gustav Toutant-Beauregard, a flamboyant general from Louisiana. Keeping the name down to the third generation makes it a Tradition, and possibly a statement.

Which partly explains why people laugh. Another reason may be meanness – Mr Sessions is rather short and has a deceptively impish appearance. Also, many, many people disagree with his actions in office and his expressed opinions in and out of it, which cause them to look for ways to make mock.

Nonetheless, laughing at Mr Sessions can have consequences. Not too long ago, an activist was arrested for being 'disorderly' during the Congressional confirmation hearing for Mr Sessions. It all started when she began laughing.

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/may/04/desiree-fairooz-laughing-jeff-sessions-confirmation-hearing

There is a reason why saying 'Beauregard' in a certain tone of voice will make you laugh. I was going to give you a cartoon to explain why, but in terms of political incorrectness, it was *way* over the line. (They were insensitive 60 years ago.) However, I *can* give you a more modern take on it. This commentator has everybody's interests at heart, and tells us how to avoid jail time by assiduously *not* laughing at Mr Sessions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYeOCyNfdCg

Having done my bit today for historical accuracy and international understanding, I will now leave you.

That lady in the video is amazing.
(Not in the same sense as visiting the Yad Vashem Memorial would be).

To be fair, he does have very pretty muddy-brownish eyes, though.

True.