h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Furbies [Re-Write] - A4100734
Author: Emmily ~ One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor - U190758

This is intended to replace Furbies - A71641 Entry.

Any comments, suggestion etc welcome.

Emmily

You seem to get cpnfused between the words and . is the plural of . means . I don't know why so few people are unable to use an apostrphe.

Also, at one point you use the word 'devises.' It should be 'devices'; these two words mean comp;letely different things, and the one with a c is the one you want.

'Country' should only be capitalized if it is the first word in a scentence.

There are also a few places where you use a semicolon in place of a comma, but I can't remember where.

On the whole, good entry.

>>> I don't know why so few people are unable to use an apostrphe.

What???

You're quite right Hussassan, I did get confused over Furby's/Furbies. I understand the use of an apostrophe. I've gone though it slowly, and hopefully all the Furby's/Furbies are correct now.

What I've not done is change the semicolons to commas. I'll take a look later, see if I can see them.

(Hi Michael )

Emmily

Here are the semi-colon errors I can see:

The amplifier was designed to be more responsive to selective sounds; such as clapping hands.

should be

The amplifier was designed to be more responsive to selective sounds, such as clapping hands.

This bit here has more problems than just the semicolons --

With six times more memory than the original, which gives it a larger vocabulary capability. Apparently these innovations make the evolved Furby; cute, clever, fun and lifelike.

I would probably rephrase the whole last paragraph to say:

Advancements in technology have led to Furby evolution - it now features a wider range of motions and reactions. With six times more memory than the original toy, it now has an increased vocabulary. As a result, the new Furby seems more cute, clever, fun, and lifelike. Best of all, the new Furby has an off switch!

Or (keeping a bit more of the original)...

With today's technology, the Furby has evolved into a more advanced toy. It features a wider range of motions and emotions. With six times more memory than the original, it has a larger vocabulary capability. And while these improvements may make the new Furby cuter, cleverer, more fun and more lifelike, they pale in comparison with the best innovation of all: an on/off button.

(Hi Emmily )

Cheers Mikey and Micheal

I considered both your suggestions, used bits from both, and added a little more info. to the paragraph, hope it reads better now.

Emmily

Very good entry.

They were the biggest fads, everyone at school (bar me, of course!) had one, and gee were they annoying. I absolutely cringed when I heard of their return!

No big problems. Can you actually feed the furbies? Maybe something should be said about this.

Excellent stuff,
DV.

Cheers DV

I've googled and found info. on feeding, (jeez, you had to feed the damn things ) I'll add about feeding later.


Just realised I'd missed a section out,'The Birth of the Furby'. (it was on seperate Word page, and I forgot about it) have now added it.

Emmily

Added a bit on feeding.

Emmily

"The Furby took nine months for Dave Hampton, Furby’s designer, to develop. (A previous nine months was spent designing the Furby)."

It took me a while to understand that section because I wasn't really sure of the difference between 'design' and 'develop'. Could you just say it took 9 months to design, and then another 9 months to create?

"What Were They Fighting For?"

I think that should be fighting *over*, rather than for...

In the rumours section, what does 'apparently true' mean? I think if you are going to have a section clarifying rumours, then saying 'apparently' seems to leave us in as much doubt as saying 'unclarified'.

Also, I don't like the section where you suggest putting furbies on the bonfire or in the microwave - they seem dangerous.

Also don't forget that McDonalds were giving away small furbies with their happy meals a few years ago. Worth adding?

Cheers Mina.

Have changed "for" for "over"

Deleted "apparently" and made the airline ban clearer.

Had to be careful not to lose what I was saying with the develope/design, so just changed "develope" to "create".

I had intended to include McDonalds Furbies, but as the Entry got longer I decided to leave McDonalds out, I could find the info again, and add a small section.

There are a lot more dangerous things in the EG than bonfires and mis-use of microwaves. I do offer safety advice for the bonfire, and advise against using the microwave.

Emmily

Added a bit about McDonalds McFurbys (could have done a whole Entry on them )

I've called McDonalds McFurbys, McFurbys rather than McFurbies, as that is what McDonalds called them.

Emmily

I had no idea there were so many!

I like my sister's furby - the best way to annoy my sister is to tip it up so it wakes up and then leave it in her room at night

Yep 80 of the b*ggers Mina, you were right, they were worth a mention.

Hmmm Cyzaki beware, little sisters have a way of seeking revenge when you least expect it.

Emmily

Yes, like not passing on telephone messages like yesterday... *grrrr*

Can some who knows confirm for me what I do with this Entry?

It's been in PR for a few days now, had some comments and a few changes made. Do I remove it from PR and submit it to UpdateForum

Or should I have just submitted it to Update Forum in the first place, and not to PR

Emmily

If it's a complete re-write, it should be here and not the Update Forum. Once there's a general consensus that an Update is ready to go, the easiest thing to do is to email Jimster and let him know.

While this is looking good, I really do think it makes sense to leave it here a little longer, and see if anyone else has any comments -- at the least give it the 1-week incubation period that any other entry would get.


Mikey