A Conversation for Masturbation - the male perspective

Trousers Down

Post 1

Thunderguts

Fascinating, to say the least. I wonder if there is a diagram of this terribly interesting pheonomena available somewhere.


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Post 2

To@@er

There is not at the moment. There is a manual in the making as this is written wich will answer any questions that arise. There will be a step-by-step tutorial, complete with illustrations, and there will be a quiz at the end of each chapter. It will be out in November.

Tosser


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Post 3

Cupid Stunt

From all good sex shops priced £9.991


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Post 4

Toker

It should be out by now, but I can't find it anywhere.


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Post 5

Cupid Stunt

Alltogether, "Aah!" Why aren't we more sympathetic?


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Post 6

To@@er

If you are in dire traits as to instructions on how to go about the tossing business I'll give you a few helpful hints.
Contrary to popular belief the shape of the penis' head (or the King as it is known in Iceland (the head that is)) is not related to giving pleasure to eather man or his companion. The shape is what it is in order for the hand not to slip off even during the most vigorous of wankings. That established it is clear that you do not need to curb your speed or enthusiasm at all while slapping the monkey (well, ape in my case, haw haw, wink wink and bird's yer uncle). Go ahead at full blast and the toss to consequenses.
As to technique, it's much like shaking a very difficult bottle of ketchup, and I'm not talking about this newfangled runny crap that passes for katsup these days, but the almost solid stuff that they used to make in the old days, in the glass bottles. A WORD OF CAUTION! Never under any circumstances bang the top of "the King" like some people do with their katsup bottles - that will surely and painfully put the stop to an otherwise enjoyable experience.
I hope that will enable you to get started, but remember true bliss can only be achieved after years of dedicated practice. Good luck!

Yours,

Tosser


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Post 7

Cupid Stunt

Well, if you say so. W****R!


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Post 8

To@@er

I guess I am nitpicking but I prefer my real name, Tosser, to Wanker, though they both mean the same thing. But hey, that's me, the daft old traditionalist!

Tosser


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Post 9

Cupid Stunt

Well, whatever makes you happy, if that isn't too obscene to go in a public forum!


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Post 10

Cupid Stunt

Apparently it is too obscene to go in a public forum.


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