h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a little known fact that the eye of an ostrich is larger than it's brain.

It's a well known fact that an ostrich's body is larger than its eye.

Well established fact ostriches are slimmer than Americans

It may also be a little known fact that ostriches guzzle stones to place in their gizzards. This assists the ostriches' digestive process by providing grinding surfaces to break down their food!

Pertinent fact, ostriches have only 2 toes on each foot so have little, if any, problems with dirt accumulating between their toes

ostrich was my nickname at school because I used to run in a funny way in PE lessons, and I'm quite tall.

A revolutionary fact - ostriches are not infact made of cheese. I was always top of my class!

Gourmet Ostrich is the main dish to be served at a restaurant in Napier, New Zealand on 17/8/99. It will be washed down with international award winning Lake Chalice wine from Marlborough, NZ.

Also on show will be ostrich plumes and ostrich leather crafts.

I think I will go along and become an ostrich connoisseur and expert.

Have you ever considered becoming an ostrich yourself?

Yes.

I did and I am now an ostrich expert, sort of. Fact No 1. An ostrich is a bird and it is not fond of cheese.

Ostriches are silly then. Cheese can solve any problem in the world!

Swiss ostrichs are partial to a nice little fondue of course

That's alright then.

A truck just drove past my house. It had a large cage-like structure on the back. Inside the cage was a solitary ostrich feather.

Spooky

Perhaps it was a tail feather and the ostrich was sticking its head realy far underground.

No. I went outside and checked. No trench running down the road.

Maybe it was migrating south for summer.

Migrating south from New Zealand is classic ostrich-like behaviour.

Next stop Antartica,