h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i think i sometimes think therefore I think somethimes I might possibley bee.

Right you lot. Up against the wall. What's all this about abusing my Pussy (cat: for benefit of Phantom yikeser)Said creature is currently clinging to my & enjoying me stroking the head..

OK, an intellectual question for you. If you had limited English, but needed to open a bottle of & discovered the multi-tool thing was missing the corkscrew bit, how would you describe what a corkscrew is?

Smut is allowed: indeed, encouraged.

zdt

Can I have the twirly, pully, twisty thing please?

Alternatively, "Waiter, open this bottle"

Hello, I need to get this stiff thing out. Can you help me?

RF

*flutters eyelashes*

There's a part missing down here...I don't suppose you could possibly help me find it? It's used to open things that makes men water at the mouth, it's best wielded by a man, or else a lesbian, it's got a kind of curly thing on the end, it's rather cute really. My one at home is red but I can't find it here.

oh mi! my poor ickle innocent mind is boggling at waht I know not

I once saw a vibrator that twirled.

Very good at getting women off I understand.


Not so good at getting wine corks out I should imagine.

All good creative answers m'dears; what an imaginitive lot you are!

Anyway, what he actually said was "I need the thing that looks like a pigs willy." which had me totally .

A bit later i wanted some & asked for what i thought was "jus d'orange" & wondered why he was collapsing in giggles. Apparently my mangled pronunciation meant it sounded like "jouis" which meant i was asking for an orange orgasm!

zdt*Doing her bit for European Union

<>

This reminded me of something terribly funny. I'm an assistant stage manager (SM) for the school play, and there's a line where one character says, "Are you hungry, pussy? We haven't eaten either?" The actor begged us to let him change it to "kitty" because he didn't think he could keep a straight face.

Well, I thought it was funny, anyway.

Te he; i was in a pantomime (Snow White) & the littlest dwarf has a scene where she was looking at a pond full of fish. She has to utter the classic line "Oh no, i'm not looking for the biggest one, the size doesn't matter in the least!"

Obviously; on the last night, the entire cast suddenly appeared behind her screeching:

"Oh yes it does!!!!"

*Cue audience*

zdt