h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not convinced I'll survive this challenge, but I'm more than prepared to give it a go.

I've chosen the theme 'Only in Cyprus'.

It's a well-worn phrase that is often heard muttered by disgruntled expat's and regularly seen posted on message-boards. 'Only in Cyprus' is the catch-all when local events don't quite equate in the expats' limited knowledge of the world or their understanding of a different culture. It's a lazy method of describing something that doesn't suit and certainly doesn't compute.

It's not a method that I care to subscribe to, but since I come across it everyday, I thought it worth documenting. What you'll see over the next 30 days is my interpretation of conversations I've had or have seen posted on message-boards. The thoughts come from fellow expats; the write-up (documented here) is my interpretation of their complaints.

Today, I offer 'Blues & Two's' and the use of.

Blues & two's refer to the use of lighting (blue) and sirens (two-tone) on emergency vehicles. In Cyprus, we have Police, Fire and Ambulance services all fitted with the requisite devices.

The police use blues all the time - persuing a bank robber, attending an accident and collecting a sandwich for lunch. The lights never go off, ever. But then the two's never come on, ever. Only in Cyprus.

Fire services use both. Always. Even if they arrive at the scene of a fire and it has self-extinguished, the blues and the two's continue, unabated, until the service calls 'clear' and departs, sirens and lights blaring. Only in Cyprus.

Ambulances, saving lives and rushing dying patients to hospital use neither. A simple 'beep' of the horn or a flash of the headlights appears to be enough warning for other road users. The 33 brand-new ambulances purchased (at considerable cost) by the government are state-of-the-art. Unfortunately, there's no paramedics. Just van drivers. The paramedics will take another three years to train. Probably about as long as it'll take the current drivers to find the blues & two's button on the dash-board. Only in Cyprus.

Are you in the Greek half of Cyprus or the Turkish Half?

, & ouch.

I've got to admit that if I had access to a blues & twos button I'd want to use it.

Waz (calling in off the NaJoPoMo page)

I'm in neither, BMT. Regardless of origin, true Cypriots are just Cypriots and not defined by the language they speak or the customs they pursue.

I'm not sure how much you know of the history, and I wouldn't wish to presume - but it's a subject I hope to cover in my journal Entries over the coming month.

Expats have very strong (often mis-guided) feelings about this matter and a lot of our ideas can be upsetting to the true Cypriots.

I would describe myself as living in the south of the island.

Oh, and nice to see you Waz!

Oh YES! That attitude used to really get on my nerves too, when I was living abroad.

Yet of course there are amusingly or oddly different things (and of course they are WRONG ). I like this idea of having a celebration of them rather than a moan about them. Cool theme for the month!

I don't have any views, opinions or anything else for that matter on the current status of the Island. Merely asking a question. I don't know the full, in depth history of the Island, I know its split, I know there are, to this day, UN peacekeepers on the 'border' between the 2 halves. The only time we see or hear anything about the island is when it makes the news about clashes or when tourists, (usually brits) get involved in drunken fracas.
I'll gladly continue to read your journals and look forward to being enlightened.

<>

Apologies, BMT, I sounded like I was preaching didn't I? That wasn't my intention.

I do hope to cover the division of the island but it's a sensitive subject. Brits (like me) are generally poorly informed on the matter and it can cause a degree of tension when it's not handled correctly.

I prefer to see it from the Cypriots viewpoint; they are *all* Cypriot. In an ideal world there would never be a north or south Cyprus, just a unified country. I hope to expand on that later in the month. For now I'm concentrating on light-hearted observations of daily life here.