h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got this woolen jumper I'm really fond of. Thing is, I recently washed it, and like the brain donor I've always denied I am, I put it on a piping hot radiator to dry. Next day, I took it off the radiator to find that it was warm and dry and that it had shrunk to the size of child's jumper (sweater).

I love this jumper (in fact, I'm wearing it right now and I look a right idiot - a bit 'care in the community'). So community, do you care? Is there any way that I can de-shrink it? Or stretch it? Any ideas?

Rice and peas,

Sam

Hi Sam!
It *is* possible to re-stretch jumpers, but this tends to result in complete loss of the natural elasticity. If you think your jumper would make a good sloppy-joe style garment, then go for it. If it has only shrunk a bit, you can restretch and then re-grip the cuffs with shirring/knitting elastic. It would still be a bit shapeless though...
Alternatively, give the jumper to a small friend - then at least it's being used!

Give it to a large-breasted woman as a tight-fitting crop top. Just a thought.

Give it to the Leprauchans that live in the radiator

As a life-long expert in shrinking jumpers, I would catagorically say that there is no way you can re-instate your jumper to its original size and be able to wear it in public. The sad truth is that, once you have shrunk a jumper, it's got to go.....it's no good trying to give it to a child either, you will find that without its elasticity it is very uncomfortable to wear and looks like a straight jacket.

(!) Some people might enjoy that!

How the hell am I so supposed to fit a shrunken jumper over the white padded jacket that I'm made to wear at the minute? Eh? Eh? C'mon! Think about it!

In which case you don't need a jumper then!

Good point, well made! Problem solved