h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, ive been at college since September 12th.

I knew it wasnt going to be easy, especially since id been away from education for 8 months...and have emotianal problems.

But why did no one tell me that id have so much to do in such little time?
That the ENTIRE responsibility was on MY shoulders?

Why is it that i want to drop out?
When last week i was so looking forward to fufilling my dream of becoming a DNA Analyst?

We have to make our Uni applications at christmas...
And i dont really think ill go to Uni anyway...

Aside from that, i am also annoyed at my PATHETIC progress in getting better.
If anything ive gone backwards!
Not a day goes by when i feel suicidle.
Not a day goes by when i want to feel the loving caress of my scaple blade...

And you know why?
Because thats the only way i can cope.
Its bad enough i have to cope with all the usual crap a 16 yr old has to deal with.
Now im on Anti-Psychotics because my "hallucinations" are taking over and i keep having episodes of Mania every 4 hours!
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF i have to deal with college as well?

Sometimes i wish i was a teaspoon *sighs*

But yeah....im not coping all that good right now..
Maybe its just temporary?
Mm...im kinda hoping so..
Dont wanna be remmeberd as a quitter...
Why do i have a Boyzone song in my head now?? NYA!!!!!!!

Hmm..yeah...and because of my ever-increasing workload, i no longer have time most days for Hootoo....thus meaning i dont have a bloody CLUE whats going on anymore...
And i miss out on important stuff too

VAIRY important stuff....

On a plus tho, im VAIRY much looking forward to my first holiday, providing all goes well.
Because i shant be in this GOD-FORSAKEN place i call England. Oh no.
ILl be with my lovely, amazing, lovly, great, perfect, gorgeous, caring, best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me [did i mention amazing?] boyfriend
Hopefully, fate will smile on me this once, and forget im me, and allow me this tiny bit of happiness for a short while.

Come on God, im a good person, dont screw this up for me!
Pretty please?

Hey there steph, Many people find that they start off feeling worse to begin with, it's because when you're realy down you're so low you can't feel how depressed you realy are. What anti depressants are you on?

IM on Ciprimil...
ANd now Risperdal

*sigh*

angel after reading your report I can say that you are doing fine Schools are stressfull, that's just how it is for some reason.

you are actually getting better, I see wast improvements from when I started talking to you

as for the the vacation paragraph I'll just make the following comment:

screw what up angel?

Nya, thats nothing. Ive always been smart.
I knew my Photonic alphbet and my numbers from 1-100 by the time i was 4 *sigh*

Mm...why dont i believe it then??

I only speak the truth honey...

Screw the whole event up....God does that to me...*sigh*

I never thought I should say this, but because TB is right

what event?

euphoria and halucinations are known side effects of Cipramil, as are hypomania and/or mania. So those aren't you being messed up, it's the drugs doing it

You know...me coming to see you?

TB- .....really?

I can hardly think of anything which would keep us apart angel

TB makes sence, you should listen to TB *nods*

From the BNF

SSRIs

SIDE-EFFECTS

SSRIs are less sedating and have fewer antimuscarinic and cardiotoxic effects than tricyclic antidepressants (section 4.3). Side-effects of the SSRIs include ... nervousness, anxiety, headache, insomnia, tremor, dizziness, asthenia, hallucinations, drowsiness, convulsions (see Cautions above), ... Suicidal ideation has been linked with SSRIs but causality has not been established.

CITALOPRAM

Side-effects:

see notes above; also palpitation, tachycardia, postural hypotension, coughing, yawning, confusion, impaired concentration, malaise, amnesia, migraine, paraesthesia, abnormal dreams, taste disturbance, increased salivation, rhinitis, tinnitus, polyuria, micturition disorders, euphoria

Stephie!!!!!!!!!!

You're smart. You're a great person. You can do it.

You have people around you to help you through things, don't you? I'm sure yout tutors will give any help they can. And you have doctors and councellors for the emotional and medical stuff.

You can make it. You are worth so much!!

Just hang in there. School can be really hard (especially on top of everything else you're going through), but you can do it. Just do it one day at a time. It seems long, but in my expirience it helps.
Try to think of better things, like your holiday

Yeah. Don't stress. Just think - off for Christmas soon!!

Hello sweetheart.. I have been looking for something for you.. and I think I have found it.. I don't know who wrote it..


Everyone has a hidden place........


Somewhere deep within ourselves; a place where we go to get away, To think things through, to be alone, to be ourselves. This unique place, where we confront our deepest feelings, Becomes a storehouse of all our hopes, all our needs, all our dreams, And even our unspoken fears.

It encompasses the essence of who we are and what we want to be. But now and then, whether by chance or design, Someone discovers a way into that place we thought was ours alone. And we allow that person to see, to feel and to share all the reason, all the uncertainty and all the emotion we've stored up there. That person adds new perspective to our hidden realm, Then quietly settles down in his own corner of our special place, Where a bit of himself will stay forever.

And we call that person a friend....................





You know where to reach me..

lil xx

Hey Stephie!!!

Long time, no chat!
I've been missing you.

College will improve, hun...You just gotta get through the start - it's VERY different from school, but it helps you for the real world. Trust me on that...

And as TB () says, it's the medication. Medication often seems to fix one thing, but mess up another.

I am, however, VERY worried about something you said though...it concerns me greatly, and I think you really need to get some help for it...
It's that you have a BOYZONE song in your head!!!
How the hang did you let that happen???

we all feel very sorry for Stephie because of the boyzone thing

I was trying to ignore that because, obviously, that's not the medication, that's her being messed up

What is wrong with Boyzone? I like 'em

Lil

I don't know what came over me.. sorry..