h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How many times have you heard someone say "he/she spoke to me from beyond the grave".
Said in real life and on TV sit-coms inc' films etc.

BUT! odd on a mo' just how far away from the grave were you when they spoke ? 6ft ? 10 yards? bottom of the street ? 3 miles ? were they buried at sea ? or even cremated ? and if you were cremated, you wouldn't technically have a grave. so how can you speak to "me" from one unless you've nicked someone else's or done a squat in one.
Do these spirits have a piece of string and two tin cans, do they have mobile/cell phones ? as they could be 6ft under in a foreign country.
Making it a bit hard to be heard depending on where you are in the world when they spoke to you eh!
Plus! as speech needs air pressure to send sound waves etc, how can a spirit without lungs take a deep breath ? and say "can you hear me"!
Maybe with added "this is a recording"

Do you reply yes! but I was told NOT to talk to strangers!
Does the spirit say "you know who I am" ?
OK! give me a clue, as your voice seems very distant and I can't recognise it.
IT'S (persons name) - tha' knows who it is! it's me ok
Ah! NOW I recognise you, but wait a minute! tha' never talked to me much when tha' was alive, so how come now ? I don't owe you money do ah ?
You're not going to start spamming in my head are you? now you know where it is.

This is NOT to be associated with folk who say the voices in my head told me to do this, that or the other.
As no one has ever had a grave in their head (at least not recorded), so beyond the grave isn't inside the cranium ok

before the voice goes, do you ask it if it knows the winning numbers for the next national lottery draw!
Spirits from beyond is one thing, but money is anotherso any advantage, take it


no ethereal voices were hurt during the writing of this thread

No no no, you got it all wrong!

What happened was, he was helping me hang this massive framed etching on the living room wall, and I accidentally got him stuck in between. So, *from behind the engraving* he asked me to kindly get him out. Simple!

Being born on halloween does have its disadvantages Prof! I understand your thread better than you know.

I only believe in one spiritand that's in the garb of whisky or vodka