h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This was given to me, by a very close friend whose roots are Scottish.
Apart from that, I find it very funny!.
I feel that has a mark of respect to my friend, it should be shared and again to bring a smile to hopefully all who read it.


ODE TAE A FERT....

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie, lurks in yer belly efter the feastie.
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin, there sterts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas, stert workin like a gentle breeze.
But soon the puddin’ wi the sauncie face, will have ye blawin’ all ower the place.

Nae matter whit ye try tae dae, a’bodys gonae have tae pay.
Even if ye try to stifle, it’s like a bullet oot a rifle.

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair, tae try and stop the leakin’ air.
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek, pray tae god it doesny reek.

But aw yer efforts go asunder, oot it comes- a clap o’ thunder.
Ricochets aroon the room, michty me, a sonic boom.

God almighty it fairly reeks, hope I huvnae pooed ma breeks!.
Tae the loo I better scurry, aw who cares, it’s no ma worry.

A’body roon aboot me choking, wan or two are nearly bokin.
I’ll feel better for a while, cannae help but raise a smile.

“Wis him!” I shout with accusin’ glower, alas too late, he’s just keeled ower!.
“Ye dirty thing!” they shout and star, I don’t feel welcome any mair.

Where ere ye go let yer wind gang free, sounds like just the job fur me.
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s perty, ower the sake o’wan wee ferty!!!.

*roars laughing*

What an ode!!!

I wish that was in the poets anthology for GCSE. Classic!

Never knew my husband could write Scottish poetry

brilliant

Animal, that's definitely one for PHM.

Websailor

It's gone I never got to read it

Awww.

You have to be quick to read the funny stuff around here before the humour monkey strikes.

How could anyone take offense to that?

I can't imagine. What's going on if you can't publish a joke anymore?

perhaps if you google the subject it may appear

Why's that been yikesed Prof? I saw it before and promised myself i'd read it later,could you mail it me please

Oh My....What happened prof

That wasn't the filther jumping in either

Ach!! Another friend made a victim to the moderators!!!Poor Prof..

Boo, I can't read what happened , cos I've come here too bit late

Nope.. I was asked if it would offend.. and give it clearance. So I have a copy and here it is:



TAE A FERT


Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie, lurks in yer belly efter the feastie.
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin, there sterts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas, stert workin like a gentle breeze.
But soon the puddin’ wi the sauncie face, will have ye blawin’ all ower the place.

Nae matter whit ye try tae dae, a’bodys gonae have tae pay.
Even if ye try to stifle, it’s like a bullet oot a rifle.

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair, tae try and stop the leakin’ air.
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek, pray tae god it doesny reek.

But aw yer efforts go asunder, oot it comes- a clap o’ thunder.
Ricochets aroon the room, michty me, a sonic boom.

God almighty it fairly reeks, hope I huvnae pooed ma breeks!.
Tae the loo I better scurry, aw who cares, it’s no ma worry.

A’body roon aboot me choking, wan or two are nearly bokin.
I’ll feel better for a while, cannae help but raise a smile.

“Wis him!” I shout with accusin’ glower, alas too late, he’s just keeled ower!.
“Ye dirty thing!” they shout and star, I don’t feel welcome any mair.

Where ere ye go let yer wind gang free, sounds like just the job fur me.
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s perty, ower the sake o’wan wee ferty!!!.

http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKParScotland&tid=301&redirCnt=1

Very funny..and hardly offensive.What is the problem?

Just someone with no sense of humour