h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stardate 011099

This appears to have become a weekly event, instead of daily. Looks like it's going to have to be even less, as we've now had official notice that the spies are at work, and they know exactly what we're doing. Apparently they even monitor our phone calls.

Gran is driving me insane. 'Do you want something to eat?' Do you want something to drink?' 'Do you want to come and stay with me?' 'Have you not got a coat?' 'Here, wear my coat.' 'Oh, I daren't even go out on my own anymore, I ran out of cigs yesterday, but I just can't go out and get some more.' Well, then you'll just have to go cold turkey, won't you Gran. I'm not going to fetch them for you. Much as I like not having the parents around, having to see Gran four days a week takes the shine off it. Part of me is wishing they'd hurry and get back.

College night out is cancelled, due to lack of demand. Which is very good for me, isn't it. Friday night and I'm staying in again. Eh, well, there's always Friends, and Nikita's starting a new series. And there's all those Bond films I taped. That'll keep me busy until it's time for cocoa.

Rang a place in Whitby about the Halloween weekend away, but they're all booked up, so we'll have to try somewhere else. I'm still up for camping up near the Abbey, but some of the group like their luxuries too much. Wimps, the lot of them. Why do you need central heating? It's only the end of October. We'd be in nice little two-man tents on the hill above Whitby. It wouldn't be cold at all. Much. Well, maybe a bit, but we could drink lots of Brandy to make up for it. Being next to the Abbey during a sea fret on Halloween will more than make up for the Hypothermia.

Sister has split up with bloke 2. Sort of. He's been seeing his ex and has asked her to come back, so he's dumping sister. But still seeing her a bit. It's sort of complicated and involves her letting him know she cares and him abusing that fact. Would like to get him kneecapped with his own gun, but think sister will not appreciate it. He has now bought a ferrett to aid in his murder campaign. If it had come up against my recently deceased rabbit, Pike, in the prime of his life, it wouldn't have stood a chance. He might have been the smallest rabbit in the world, but he was also the most vicious. Unless you scratched his ears. Which I don't think ferrets are all that likely to do.

Went to reserves on Tuesday. We lost again. 1st team play Wimbledon tomorrow. We've got to win soon, it's only a matter of time, there's as much chance against Wimbledon as anyone else. And we're on Match of the Day, so we've got to win to shut them up. Maybe I should try and steal whatsisfaces wellies, that might put him off managing his team.

Psycho woman had a go at me because her little yappy ratdogs barked at my Sam and frightened him, and I told her she should keep them on a lead if she couldn't control them. She actually had to pick them up to move them, and didn't appear to have one lead between the four of them. Have been on same walk at same time every night since in hope of a fight, but she was not there. Care in the community is all very well, but I think they should make sure these people's medication is strong enough before they let them out alone.

Almost time to go now. Only got to see Gran three more times and then not until Christmas. Maybe I should wear my coat to walk the 50 feet from the car to her flat. And a bobble hat and mittens.

Cake s.o.

Pheasant v Pheasant (1972)

Lack of spontaneous demonstrative affection from your spouse is not unreasonable enough behaviour to warrant a divorce.