h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stardate 240999

It's been a week since my last entry. I've managed to cut down net usage a bit, but not enough to fool the computer spies. Must try harder.

Parents have gone. Yippee!!! Have to see Gran every day. Boo! Have to get up at 6 every morning to walk dog and drop him off at Gran's. Boo!

Parents departed on Stardate 210999, and haven't even bothered to ring and let me know they got there ok. Not that I want to talk to them you understand, but they're supposed to care enough to ring and I'm supposed to be annoyed that they don't think I'm old enough to cope alone. That's the way parent-child relationships are supposed to be. Father hasn't even bothered to call to speak to the dog, who isn't actually missing him as much as expected.

Haven't had much time at home to enjoy lack of old people. Had football on two nights this week. First team beat Stoke 3-1 on Wednesday. Fantastic!!!! The only way is up, things can only get better and various other 80s pop songs. Reserves lost to Newcastle last night, but played very well and was enjoyable.

Sister has become so southernised that she rang at 7.30 on Wednesday (I 1471'd when I got home) and didn't realised there was a match. Lives down south for nine months, forgets her roots. She'll be talking like a yokel next.

College is still a bit dull, but managed to have a go on computer in learning centre before class. Unfortunately cannot get onto net without a logon name and because is start of term with lots of new students, the computer people haven't had chance to give out the logon names yet. You'd think they would have expected some students to turn up in September and have been prepared.

Had very good time supermarket shopping alone on Tuesday. Bought lots of nice stuff, and only vegetables were carrots - for Mulder and Scully. Have got myself and espresso maker and now cannot sleep because of caffeine overdose. Don't care.

Gran still wants to feed me every night. Have managed to skillfully avoid it so far with excuse of football, but have no excuse tonight. Maybe could lie and say am going out. She also wants me to go and stay with her, because I might not like being on my own. As if! Would love it if parents decided to retire to Malta and not come back. So long as they didn't sell the house and evict me. Which they would have to do to afford to retire.

Have only got ten minutes to go before home time. The second best thing about work is home time. The first best thing is, of course, pay day. Which is on Thursday. Which is lucky because my bank account is minus (just for a change) and I'm going out for a big college get-together on Friday, which would backfire considerably if I had no cash.

The mighty mini is playing up. Big time. Preliminary checks discovered exhaust was doing nodding dog impression. Took to garage. Rubber thing had fallen off. New one attached. Exhaust problem was solved. Unfortunately mini is still not better. Wants to stall all the time. Have to keep foot on accelerator when in traffic jams. Get dirty looks from lollypop lady for revving engine when small children are crossing road. Am going to get book out and try to mend myself as would rather spend money on other things and garages are rip-off merchants anyway. Father would know how to fix it, but where is he in a crisis? Sunning himself on some golden beach, and not even bothering to ring to speak to the dog.

Five minutes to go.

Cake s.o.

Hyde v Hyde (1866)

Definition of marriage - the voluntary union for life of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others.

My (ex) mini kept stalling, and I had to drive it with a clothes peg holding the choke out at a scientifically calculated point at all times. Then it died.

My old mini had the same problem. I took it to the garage and the mechanic said it was a waste of time fixing it, because it'd only do it again, and that I should use a peg on it. Maybe all old minis should come with a peg fitted as standard.

New mini doesn't suffer from this problem, it has that wonderful invention the automatic choke. Causes endless confusion to father. He always pulls the heater thing out thinking it's the choke.