h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A few weeks ago, I posted about a 419 scam email I replied to in a daft way from the hotel. I lost my 50p bet after shutting down the guy's email. Anyway, I keep getting these things through, so I'm planning to have some fun with them. I want to waste these guys time by keeping them hanging on, thinking they're about to get a Western Union payment through any day. By keeping them busy, I'm hoping to have a good laugh and will also save some mug somewhere from parting with a huge sum of cash.

So I'm going to copy and paste the email exchanges into this thread. If you don't think winding up criminal gangs in west Africa is funny, you may unsubscribe now

I think you've found a wonderful way to have a little revenge.

To be fair, Jorge Gomez made a pretty good start:

From: Jorge Gomez [mailto:@gmail.com]
Sent: 09 October 2007 19:18
Subject: FAMILY VACATION


Hello,

I am Jorge Gomez. Can you kindly confirm if there are rooms
for the following dates.

Check In: 18 Dec 07
Check Out: 25 Dec 07
No of rooms: 3
No of guests 6
Type of Rooms: Double
Name of Group: The Gomez Family

I am coming on a short vacation with my family to celebrate our
wedding anniversary,and a friend has recommended your facility
for our short stay. Can i have your rates per nite. I need to make
reservation ahead of time. Thank you.


Yes, bad spelling and grammar, but it's less obvious as he chose a foreign name. Then again, who checks out on Christmas Day?

Cheers Roy!

The story continues...

Dammit. We're closed then. Reception replies:

Dear Mr Gomez,

Thank you for your enquiry. Unfortunately we are closed on the days that you have requested we are closed.

Many Thanks

Reservations


Pretty poor grammar there as well. I must have words with the staff.

Anyway, Jorge hasn't been put off by this:


From: Jorge Gomez [mailto:@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: 11 October 2007 06:16
To: Cavendish Hotel
Subject: FAMILY VACATION

KINDLY CHECK FOR 1ST - 7TH OF DEC AND GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR RATES PER NIGHT. OUR DATES ARE VERY FLEXIBLE. WARM REGARDS


Three things strike me. The first is that he's started shouting; he clearly lives a long, long way away. The second is that he's got a new email address - he's now on Yahoo. Has his other email been shut down by a conscientious internet user? The third thing is that he seems quite flexible on dates for someone who is celebrating his anniversary...

We're 99% sure he's a scammer now. We reply one more time:

Dear Mr Gomez,

Thank you for your enquiry. We have 3 doubles available for the 1st – 7th Dec, the price for this will be £190 per person for the 6 nights.

If you require any further information or would like book please contact us on .

Many Thanks

Reservations


Ah! That's fine for him...

From: Jorge Gomez [mailto:@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: 11 October 2007 16:25
To: Cavendish Hotel
Subject: YOUR OFFER HAS BEEN ACCEPTED


Hello Dear,
Thanks for the prompt reply. I have discussed with my family, and we have accepted the rates as stated, but i would like to know how much it will cost us to stay for the days requested. You can include the cost for feeding. So in summary i expect to get the total cost for the accomodation for 7 nights with breakfast only. I will wait for your reply.
Mr Gomez


'Hello Dear'? He's certainly friendly...


Dear Mr Gomez,

Thank you for choosing the Cavendish Hotel for your holiday. The total price for the holiday will be £1110 which is with breakfast only.

Many Thanks

Reservations


Everyone is happy. He's booked his room and we're making a pretty damn tidy sum out of him. So what's the catch?

'You can include the cost for feeding'

I know you're west country and all that, but can you really find any takers to feed this chap and his entourage to? Is he expecting a bill reduction?

What kind of scame was Mr. Gomez trying to pull? I still dont get it...

Hello Dear, [stop calling me that, Jorge. I don't like it.]

Thanks for the quick response. Payment will be via a Bank Draft made out to your facility.

Our Sponsors has made out a Bank draft that will cover the total cost for our trip as soon as you confirm this. The Bank Draft of £10,000 will be for our accommodation, flight tickets, feeding, and our tour around london. However since the ticketing agent is also based in london we have decided to send you the bank draft of £10,000, once you receive it, deduct the cost of your services £1,110 and send the outstanding balance of £8,890 to the flight ticketing agent who will arrange for other logistics concerning our trip. His information will be sent to you once this is confirmed in order to commence his own arrangement. Make sure this amount clears your account first, then an invoice made out to you by the ticketing agent before you proceeed with any transfer.

For the payment i need this informations:

(1) YOUR FULL NAME / NAME OF FACILITY (WHICH WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE BANK DRAFT)
(2) ADDRESS (WHERE THE DRAFT WILL BE SENT TO VIA COURIER)
(3) PHONE NUMBERS (FOR EASY COMMUNICATION)

Thanks as i expect to hear from you.

Mr Gomez


Oh, yeah?


Unfortunately, we decide we can't handle such a large amount of money under normal procedures, and hand over to our admin department. Basically, I want him off our email system. So:


Dear Mr Gomez,

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, we cannot process transactions above £2,000 from our reservations department. I will forward your email on to our admin department, who will reply to you shortly and make arrangements for the transfer as soon as possible.

Looking forward to welcoming you,

Reservations

Simulpost, Black Cheetah! He is going to send me a fake cheque; I pay it in, send him the difference and a couple of weeks later the bank tells me it's a fraud, leaving me several grand down. You probably got that from the last post

I can see that except this line

**Make sure this amount clears your account first, then an invoice made out to you by the ticketing agent before you proceeed with any transfer.**

Doesn't that mean he is asking you to not do anything till you actually get the funds? or am I being daft?

Enter Miss Jodie Marsh, from admin. She's very keen to please, and drops several hints that she'll do anything to impress both Jorge and her new boss:

Dear Mr Gomez,


Thank you very much for booking your room with us. I notice from the details that have been forwarded by reservations that you will be celebrating your anniversary while you are with us - congratulations! I have therefore taken the liberty of upgrading your booking with us at not extra charge, to make your stay with us even more memorable. You are very lucky to have sponsors who will help you out with such a sum of money, and I hope your stay in the UK is wonderful.

As I believe the reservations team have let you know, any transaction above £2000 must be handled and authorised by the admin team. This is to protect your security during our business, and I am authorised to handle higher sums. I assure you of my full attention at all times. I will confess to you that I am quite new to this job, so I am very keen to impress my new employer! If there is anything you require or any arrangements that I can make for you, please let me know.

I can't help but notice your surname - are you Spanish? My family have been to Spain many times, to Palermo and Tuscany I think. I would love to go myself one day!

I understand that you wish for me to make a payment on your behalf once funds have cleared into our account - is this the case? If so, please give me more details. I am not sure if this is standard procedure or not, but I can see no problem. The only concern I have is that we will have a small tax liability of 17.5%, so we would have to make an extra charge of £192.50 to cover this.

Please give me more details, and I will see what I can do. Reservations have asked me to ask for your address so they can complete the booking and send you confirmation.

Thank you very much, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Miss Jodie Marsh, Cavendish Administration



>From: Reservations
>Sent: 17 October 2007 18:45
>To: Admin
>Subject: New client - important!
>We have a client waiting to reserve, above our £2000 pre-mod limit.
>It's the gentleman's wedding anniversary, and he's booked four rooms
>from 1st-10th December. Can you handle this one, as it's over our
>limit?
>Mr Gomez is awaiting your reply.

>Thanks,
>
>Res.
>


You might notice the odd error creeping in there - I wonder if he'll notice that Tuscany isn't in Spain? Or that his travel dates are now from the 1st-10th instead of the 7th? Or that he's being attended to by the lovely Jodie Marsh?

I hope this lures him in. If not, I'll give it a few days and then shut down his email. Watch this space!

He'll say that, then suddenly everything will become very urgent for some reason and he'll want the money before it has cleared. It normally takes a few days or weeks for a fraudulent cheque to be rejected by the bank as well, and he'll be hoping he can push to send the money by Western Union before the fraud is realised.

aah.i see...

...it just occured to me... i just hope that Mr. Gomez isn't an H2G2 member on the side, and happens to search his name...**

That would be a real shame, but I think the odds are stacked against it...

Oh, I'm definitely watching this!

*giggles*

Me too!