h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had a lovely email today asking about a room:

Hello,
I am Dr. william green Of virgin coporation
I will need rooms for 4 couples that are coming for tours
Please do let me know your rates and the total cost for the 4
couples that will camp/ stay in rooms for the duration of 7 days
Dates of the stay are from 1st decemeber 2007 to the 7th
decemeber 2007


Regards.
Dr. william green
G.M. Virgin Organisation
EH6 7AA 11 Tower Street Edinburgh Scotland.
Phone:+44 7031947949



It seemed churlish not to reply offering the good doctor a room:


Dear Dr Green,

Yes, we do have enough rooms for decememeber. Your copulators will be very wellcome here. You can camp or stay in rooms, or we can make shelter in car park. What makes you happy. Only problem is price, because decemememeber very busty time for us in Englandland. So price will be $30,000US/£20,000GBP/$35,000,000UGD per person per hour. This makes very expensive, but I think you are very big coporation and has so much money you don’t mind. Let me know if acceptable, we can do good deal.

George Agdgdgwngo

Generalic Management Board



Well, it passes the time

Will they cook their own food?

Don't you have any sub-editing to do or entries to write?

That's very mean to make fun of there bad speling in that way! Tch.

You devil, Rich!

Are they from Nigeria?..Nothing untoward meant about the lovely Nigerian people, but this seems to be a scam, exercised by a tiny minority of people from that fine nation. They give themselves a bad name, let alone the rest of their fellow citizens, AND, their own nation...

I don't think that Edinburgh, Scotland lies in Nigeria nowadays.

Gnomon, the email says quite clearly that they're going to stay in their rooms (or, bizarrely, camp). So I don't expect to see them in the restaurant at all; presumably they'll be bringing packed lunches

It's this scam, Stephen, also written about at A19882263:

http://www.joewein.net/419/emails/2007-09/06/01174533.1.htm

It came through on the hotel email today, and I'd had a busy day and was up for a bit of a laugh. I've replied before, giving ridiculously high quotes, and they've still emailed back confirming their booking and explaining all about Western Union. I've bet Kate, our receptionist, 50p that I'll have a reply to this one by Sunday.

..Skank...But may I ask how much will you charge an Aussie Geordie for a room?..I haven't got a lot of cash, but we have plenty of sheep, kangaroos, iron ore, coal, bauxite, Uranium ore, so I can you one or all of these in order to rest in your fine hotel and establishment. If there are no spare rooms, I will gladly camp for the night in my kangaroos pouch'

Sincere Regards and Apologies, etc, etc, etc... Our nations only has ran out of ink...

Bruce.... The Bonzer, Bondi Beach , All Round Cobber, and ex-mate of Steve, The Crocodile Hunter

Do they order pizzas to be delivered to Nigeria as well? Because a friend of mine had only a mobile phone, not a land line, and she found that none of the local pizza companies would deliver to her because they didn't trust her mobile phone number. Presumably too many of their pizzas had ended up giving their bank account details to the scammers and had had all their mozzerella ripped off.

Gnomon...we have just done a deal with Ghana. In exchange for a piece of Tasmanian rock, they have sent us a delivery of s with which we can edgejucate our little ones...not our Pygmies, but our children if you know what I mean. Your esteemed name sounds familiar here in our fine and proud nationhoodedness, so you understand what I mean, or what my seceretary is typing on our one and only clapped out typewriter, for which we have no Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around Our Old Remington thing with funny levers. I am not begging you for charity or relief, and keep that Bob Geldof and Bono away from here please. We don't like that sort of music, but while we are on that subject, Your Most Worthy Kingdomnesses and Prince of All That is Known and Unnknown, do you have the latest Bing Crosby CD, as he is a rapper, best of all time.

, but I must go and do a deal with the Mozambiscutian Ambassador, as we need a packet of rubber bands to hold our state secret papers together..all Five and Seven Three Quarters of them


Humbly proud to Be of Assistance, etc, etc, etc, ....

The embarassment would come if it was a genuine enquiry. Everyone knows doctors can't write legible words, never mind spell them

Stephen, I haven't got a clue what you're on about, and, while I know I'm at risk of sounding distinctly unwhacky, I'd prefer it if you kept those fantastical ramblings to parts of the site which welcome them more than my journal does. No offence, but I usually unsubscribe when conversations head off in that direction, and I shouldn't feel a need to do that from own journal...

Back in the real world, Gnomon, wouldn't that only be of concern if the pizza people were giving out bank details? I don't understand why only having a mobile number would be a problem, unless they think that a landline is more traceable if people are ordering pizzas for their neighbours for a laugh.

Venus, if you search for part of the letter, it will normally come up with a few webpages that highlight it as a scam. In this one, if you Google the telephone number at the end, you'll find the webpage that I linked to above

Aah i see...I'm not very technical ya know and would'nt have the first idea of how to do that sort of stuff.

Skankyrich, I had no thought or intention of causing any offence or some such thing. Would you please accept my apologies and allow me to post normally and behave properly in future?

Regards and

Stephen

I didn't realise camp Virgin copulators were allowed to stay in Devon hotels.

Hehehehe

Your guests will probably need Waldorf salads sent up to their rooms.

Is it safe to come back?

Did you get your reply?

Oi! That's MY Matt!