h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Two aliens were visiting Earth to research the local customs. They split up so that they could learn more in the time allowed. When they met to share their knowledge, the first alien told of a religious ceremony it had seen. 'I went to a large green field shaped like a meteorite crater. Around the edges, several thousand worshippers gathered. Then two priests walk to the centre of the field to a rectangular area and hammer six spears into the ground, three at each end. Then eleven more priests walk out, clad in white robes. Then two high priests wielding clubs walk to the centre and one of the other priests starts throwing a red orb at the ones with the clubs.' 'Gee,' replied the other alien, 'what happens next?' 'Then it begins to rain.'

With enormous gratitude to the wags at Bamville Cricket club in Hertfordshire: http://www.bamville.co.uk/jokes.htm

The best description of cricket I have ever read!!

hilarious!!!!

Brilliant Rich - perhaps the following will give an insight to those who have no knowledge of the game:

http://www.ssdd.uce.ac.uk/learner/whoweare/cricket.htm



Scorpio

Incidentally *shameless plug* my cricket column appears in again tomorrow

Sorry that's a cracking explanation, isn't it Scorpio? I've seen it so many times, but it still makes me

I heard that one as a Native American chief's son going to Oxford. He goes back home at the end of the first year and his father asks him what he's learned. He tells him all about his classes and then he says 'But I learned much about the people who almost wiped out our ancestors. Indeed I learned that they are very similar to us in many of their customs and rituals. They even have a rain dance. For weeks a special piece of land is prepared by guardians. On a certain day they give the piece of land to two priests who wear white coats. The priests paint lines on the earth and then they hammer six pieces of wood into the ground and place four more pieces of wood across the top. Many people are then invited to watch, and acolytes walk out onto the field. Then two more acolytes carrying sacred wooden clubs walk out and stand by the sticks. One of the priests hands a red globe to one of the other acolytes and shouts 'Play!'. Then it rains for a week.'

It sounds perfectly plausible to me

So there is a point in cricket after all?

No there isn't, yes it is, and I probably prefer BH's version - though it's hard to tell when you already know the punchline...

So how's the umpire job going then ? I started reading your article in the post ( the first one), but gave up after a while, not having the slightest idea what and who you are talking about

I am sure my Dad only ever put the telly onto cricket to get us kids to fall asleep in the afternoon

Yes, it's going quite well, thanks! I'm quite busy in the summer anyway, but I'm hoping to get half a dozen or more games in. The ifrst game was a bit dodgy; I gave a few people out that a few of the players felt shouldn't have been, but I've been invited back for more

Actually, lil, most umpires do seem have have a quick snooze when they're at square leg, too

Who's got square legs???

All this talk of...

Maybe a quick on the sofa...

Sleep well then

Back in forty winks

Whatever that is, I bet I'll be gone by then, so bye