h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But what's at stake here?

OK - say he was a 'mature' person but at the mercy of his bilogy. She might want sex with both men and women other than her. He couldn't handle it. So that's nice and undemeaning to all?

All you've got in the actual case is his hormones telling him that girl-girl action doesn't impimge on his 'territory'.

Now, yes, the territorial aspects in relationships can demeaning - and I don't think that men are any more prone to this than women - but we all do it to some degree. So is the issue how far he's taking it? Getting jealous and controlling at the slightest signs of friendship with another man? Well, hey! At lest he's not cutting her woff from female comany also.

But then, I don't know the whole picture. Maybe he's a jerk like you say.

(As usual, I've been playing Devil's Avocado here. My point? Relationships are odd things.)

But she didn't *want* to have sex with anyone else, or with anyone at all for that matter. This was his natural response to "oh, by the way, I'm bisexual".

I don't think someone's natural response to "Oh, by the way, I'm bisexual" should be "You can other girls, but don't look at another guy."

But that's just me.

Got you. Over-p0ssiveness with men is a big problem. But glass half full - at least she gets to women.

I've never been jealous, so I never 'got' that. Sorry for my lack of understanding about this. I personally have learned that honesty and honest reactions are very very valuable, even if they are not what one really wants to hear, and that's where I was coming from.

Everyone has a different level at which they are willing to come out of the closet. Unfortunately the only way to learn where one's leve of comfort is, is empirically. If your friend wasn't interested in 'anything like that', then now she knows her level of disclosure with more refinement, and knows that it is deeper than she thought it was, at least in reference to teenage boys. In the future, she may find it more valuable to keep her cards closer to her chest. Coming out of the closet may be societally valuable, but it almost always comes at some personal cost, even if it's just a tiny cost.

I don't see this as a general question of how society sees bisexuals.

That guy who'd let his girlfriend other chicks but not other guys sounds like a right Muppet. For any sort of open relationship (be it polyamory, swinging or any other variant) to work it has to be done on terms that are agreeable to *all* people involved. If a compromise cannot be reached then, depending on the circumstances, you should be willing to remain happy with what you've got or just walk away and start afresh with someone who's willing to see things from your perspective.

Well...to play Devil's Avocado...it's up to her whether she wants a relationship with him and therefore whether she agrees to play by his rules. Isn't it? Is he forcing her to be with him?

And on a general issue...to what extent should we be prescriptive concerning the personal relationships of others?

Is the personal political?