h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We are all aware that of all the great inventions to appear in the latter part of the second millennium the toaster must rank at least in the top few thousand. We only need to look back at the horrors of the crusades to realise what life would be like without the toaster. Would Jerusalem have fallen if the defenders could have had a couple of slices of hot buttered toast in the morning? I think we all know the answer to that one, don't we?

So yes, we know the toaster is great. but what is perhaps less known about this technological marvel is it's parallel in the natural world. For while the toaster has been in existence for, relatively speaking (I leave it to your own imagination to provide something to be relative to, I can't do everything for you, you know), only a very short while the inspiration for it has been around for many thousands of years, just waiting for the right person to see, and know. And finally that person did, and the toaster was born.

And if you yourself have not yet seen the reason for the toaster's birth then I shall enlighten you, for that's the kind of guy I am. Think of me as your (living) spirit guide. If you are reading this after I am dead (and I expect you to check) then you can think of me as just a normal, everyday, though slightly less than averagely Native American spirit guide. The toaster is a chrysalis.

I apologise for the bluntness of that revelation. I accept that there will be those amongst you who were not prepared for such a shock and you may need time to adjust. If that's you then please feel free to step outside for a moment, take some deep breaths (if you live near Chernobyl take much shallower breaths, or just use your gills) and compose yourself, I'll still be here when you're ready. I'm very patient.

Yes. I know. It's obvious now you can see it. First there is bread, the caterpillar, useful and functional in its own right but without great beauty.

Then, when the time is right, the bread/caterpillar enters the toaster/chrysalis and time passes. Who knows what occurs in that confined and secret space? All we can do is wait, hope, and see what we shall see.

Later, in it's own time (providing you avoid the cancel button) the chrysalis opens, the toast pops up, and an entirely new entity is revealed in all its glory. Where before there was functionality, mere existence, there is now beauty, glory, gracefulness. In all the colours of the rainbow (but mostly brown) the butterfly/toast takes flight, into the sky and into the imagination. An ugly caterpillar no more.

So my thanks go out to that unknown person who finally saw what was always there, and gave me toast.