h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Leopold greeted the wall;
The wall refused to acknowledge him.
Leopold tried again;
The wall refused to acknowledge him.
Leopold stared at the wall;
The wall refused to acknowledge him.
Leopold shouted and cursed at the wall;
The wall refused to acknowledge him.
Leopold beat at the wall with his fists;
The wall refused to acknowledge him.
Leopold thrust at the wall with an imaginary stick;
The wall didn’t so much as flinch.
Leopold turned his back on the wall and refused to acknowledge it in an ostentatious manner;
The wall didn’t seem to care.
Leopold crept round a corner and out of sight of the wall and then proceeded to sneak peeks at the wall when he thought it wasn’t looking;
The wall always seemed not to be looking.
Leopold flung himself at the wall in a rage, striking at it with hands, feet, arms, legs and head as well as other parts of the body it is even less advisable to beat at walls with;
The wall was unperturbed.
Leopold began to cry;
The wall failed to produce a tissue and offer comforting and hopeful platitudes.
Leopold gave up and went home where his mother bandaged up his cuts and scrapes and told him not to play with the wall anymore;
The wall was very sad;
Leopold was its only friend.