h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They aren't that uncommon in America! In Mississippi, though, if you ask for a cheese sandwich they assume you mean GRILLED cheese. There's nothing wrong with that though. It's just melted cheese on toast, but it's as close as you're gonna get in these parts. Just remember that everything in the south is either grilled, fried, or DEEP fried. Japanese cuisine is deep fried around here!

You can get a perfectly normal cheese sandwich in the states. It is, however, the only thing you can get alone on bread unless you spell it our for the server. You see, cheese is a revered object. The mere mention of the word in certain parts causes great waves of admiration, while in other parts it can cause violent revolutions over the proper color, size, shape, and texture of a good slab of cheese. In the US, any dairy product is hallowed, but cheese is on a pedestal above all the rest. I personally, am in love with it. For example, and this connects with my earlier statement, if you were to order a ham sandwich, it will not consist of butter and will invariably contain cheese and quite possibly mustard, depending on the temperature you wish it served.

What is it with American's and the humble cheese sandwich? I was in California with a friend a while back and it became a laughing stock that when ever he ordered a Cheese sandwich he got this monstrous selection of edible frippery, at the heart of which was a sandwich stacked with a selection of cheeses?? I told him more than once to just say to the waitress "I just want two slices of buttered bread and slab of cheese please" and that I bet she'd be most happy to give you what you want so that he'd walk out a happy man. But then the British shy reserve kicks in and he says "no, it's OK, I don't want to make a fuss" and he ends up with a munchable mountain range on his plate!

Saying that I can't really talk, I cut mine into triangular quarters, line 'em up and put the two end ones down flat, very dainty.

I have to say that I really don't think you can beat a good Ham, Salad cream and Cucumber sandwich (has to have lots of cold cucumber!!). I am also the proud creator of the celebrated Chip'n'ham Butty (go to a chip ship and get a chip butty - buy some good sliced ham off the bone and you all set - slap it in and you're mates will come running!

Cheese is great, cheese sandwichs are great, cheese and ham sandwichs are greater...