h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Nobody's leaving this room until I find out who did that."

I'm sure you remember this tactic. Did it ever work? Ever, in the history of education?

My memory was that it only ever led to half an hour of wasted time, followed by the teacher kicking us all out in frustration. And that admission of defeat was all the more humiliating the longer the thing went on.

The mob know nothing about omertà compared to a roomful of school kids...

You speak the truth.

we used to get about an hour of that then collective punishment as though each of us had done it, including letters home for serious offenses.

Ah! And going to boarding school, you didn't even have the expedient of intercepting the post in the morning.

(We also had a class scribe, who was skilled at forging parents' replies and letters about half-days for doctors' appointments and the like. I think this was quite lucrative for him. )

He's probably doing a ten-stretch on the Moor now

My own signature is heavily influenced by my mother's because I used to forge her signature on my weekly homework book Which probably wasn't actually necessary because she never saw it in the first place, so the teachers never saw her *real* signature.

oh yes, there wasn't much scope for intercepting stuff that went home to the parents, unfortunately.

Boy, this is enlightening.

Y'all were a bunch of criminals in training.

well, in the end I was expelled for being drunk. In maths. At 9am.
(it was my 18th birthday and I had quite a lot out of a bottle of brandy)

unfortunately the expulsion was converted to a suspension so I had to o back in time to flunk my A-levels

I don't think i ever had a letter sent home to my parents.

What a boring kid I must have been.

We were certainly not criminals in training.

Speak for yourself.

Er, did I just say that out loud?

Well, Gosho was a criminal in training.

I was just starting as I meant to go on. My parents got letters about me all the time (but I got good grades so it wasn't too tragic)

But I was dreading the Gruesome Twosome going to school because. Letters. (haven't had any - which means I gave birth to a pair of Girly Swots!)

Or they are pulling a KB

Oy! I think you'll find they were pulling a Gosho!

I'm a role model and a bad influence! My work here is done