h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've had an afternoon of blairshit bingo all about change, innovation and newness going forward. Has anyone got a bottle of brandy?

Argh - sounds rough indeed... Here you go

I'll join you, as I went through something like that myself a few weeks ago...

They all thought I was joking when I suggested public crucifixions when they asked for "new ways to deliver engagement". By that stage of proceedings, I can't be 100% sure I didn't mean it.

New ways to deliver engagement? I can't even begin to figure out what that means in normal English

I'm not convinced it can* have any actual meaning; if it did, then it would say what that meaning was, through the meaning of the words, used.... which, as they don't convey the meaning, must have no* meaning

Delivering engagement? Or did they mean facilitating engagement? Or even...being present when the engagement happens.

Is it an ongoing delivery engagement situation? That I could understand. But only if it's going forward.

Sounds like a job for Planet Express. They can deliver anything, they're a cartoon.

Bite my shiny metal innovation

bite what? .... surely that has to be an euphamism...

I think in the vernacular, "explore new ways to deliver engagement" is roughly equivalent to "talk about ways to do shit better".

I've thought of a new way to deliver engagement just now, though!

We could send thousands of people door-to-door like Mormon missionaries asking "Will you marry me?"

I tried that ... got awefully confusing when I was twitter engaged to two people, and RL engagaged to William, and h2g2 ingaged to err, another person, at the same time

HHmm..... so:
explore new ways to deliver engagement going forward" becomes; "talk about ways to do shit better in the future...

About a decade ago we had a survey come around at work, the front of which bore the question "Are you engaged?" and a picture of a bright green treefrog.

At the time I was most definitely engaged. It's our tenth wedding anniversary next March.


Geggs

Are bright green treefrogs the symbol of engagement? I didn't know that. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong!

I think they're just missing something out along the way. Engagement - then marriage - then pregnancy - then delivery.

The frog is possibly supposed to be a symbol of the prince you have kissed.

But what do I know. In German we really don't have these problems with made-up businessspeak.

Yet.

You're missing out on all* the 'fun'... really

So, the tree frog, going forward, can expand engagement, and no doubt do so on a level playing field,

The German language doesn't need them, TC. It just bundles seven different nouns into one word instead.

Yes, but each of those nouns make the compound word more precise. Business speak is the opposite of German. It's goal is to be vague, amorphous and incomprehensible.

Pardon me, I meant "vageamorphenunverständlich".

They are two different ways of obfuscating, though: the English way, you make sure the words don't have meaning. The German way, on the other hand, you just make sure everyone forgets the start of the sentence by the time you've come to the end of it.