h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry 990813

As this is something of a journal, I decide to use my space to air some of my greevances. Maybe this will help alleviate some of the stress from our day to day mundane lives (ok...my mundane life, your semi-mundane lives).

The first thing I want to discuss are drivers. Now, I know that most of you, at the bare minimum, have had some sort of formal driving education, ie: Driver's Ed, whether it be at public high school, Sear's (or other type) Driving School (not a plug for Sear's, just used as an example), and most of us have to at least taken Defensive Driving to clear a ticket from our records. I will admit, I have done that.....10 years ago! Learned my lesson, too!

If that is the case, then why do so many of you DRIVE LIKE CRAP? Not to single anyone or place out.....OK, I lied, I am gonna single you out!......but nowhere have I ever been was this worse than in Southern California. I swear to whatever deity you believe in that the California DMV has a deal with Cracker Jacks! They have to...to some people, their little toy surprise was a brand new official State of California permit to drive! Most of these people should be called 007, for once they get behind the wheel of a car, they treat it like a weapon! Nowhere but here have I ever seen someone go 90 miles per hour on the freeway only to get to a freaking traffic jam! Now, I am sure to be pissing a few SoCal-ians off here, only cuz you know I am right! There is a traffic jam every where in SoCal 24/7, and you know this to be true. I would much prefer to ride shotgun with a Japanese Cab Driver ( and believe me, these guys are PSYCHO!!! ) than to ever drive in SoCal again. People in SoCal are also very prone to drive 50MPH in a 30MPH zone just so they can be in front of you at a light THAT IS ALREADY RED!!!!! And regarding the infamous "California Roll Throughs" (yes people, these do exist!!!), just a little word of advice, some of actually believe the signs posted on the sides of the road, including, but not limited to those large, red, octagon shaped ones! Here's a hint, people, those letters, S*T*O*P....they spell a word...that word has a meaning...that word does not mean 'no cop no stop'....stop means QUIT FREAKING MOVING!!!!

Here is another thing I would like to know. Why is it, that when it does rain in SoCal, you people drive worse? Huh? Can someone give me a valid excuse? I have heard many, from "Well, we're just not used to it!" to "Well, since it doesn't rain much, there is a lot of oil build up on the road, and that makes the road slicker!" To these and the other excuses, I say, "You are full of crap!" Unless you are from Oregon or Washington state, chances are pretty good that you don't drive in the rain on a regular basis! Here is a little quiz (you may have seen a question like this on your written driver's test):

In times of inclimate weather, such as rain, you should:
A) slow down and put more distance between you
the vehicle ahead of you?
B) speed up and pass the vehicle in front of
remembering to flip him the bird?
C) tailgate the vehicle ahead of you in such a
way that you can tell what color underwear he
wearing?
D) What is rain again?


And all of those that have taken offense to this (this would be those from SoCal), don't fret, don't tell me to leave, and don't worry! I have left, with no plans to return. Not anytime soon, anyway. Your infectious driving seems to have spread.....I know people didn't drive this crappy when I left....well maybe on North Central Expressway and the LBJ, but not the whole metroplex! All I can say is thanks a lot! Now I fear for my life at home, on the road....AT HOME!!!!!!!!! But we still drive better (just not by much now).

That's all for now; I am sure that something will piss me off tomorrow. If something pisses you off, let me know. Doesn't matter what -- I love a debate!

 
 
 

you know, if you had not mentioned where you were speaking of i would of sworn you were speaking of alabama drivers
monsy

Monsy.....the only place in Bama I have been was Ft McLellan/Anniston, and wasn't mobile; I had to rely 0on Andy's Taxi.
I do remember that those cabbies, though....it's a wonder I am still alive! In their defense, they have nothing on the Honchos, as we called the cab drivers in Okinawa, as far as scaring the _________ (fill in the blank) out of you. Those little buggers drive like, as Meatloaf says, Bats outta Hell! They will take you where you wanna go as fast as you wanna go ---- I am talking heavy high way traffic going 80kph in a 40kph zone, and I would still rather ride with them then drive in SoCal again! I was trying to make the point that they drive like crap there, and their bad habits spread to the Servicemen and women there, who take it home with them; even I am guilty of that to some point, and I pride myself on the fact that I am an exceptionally safe driver.

By the way...I have a few other things that I am gonna keep posting here, so check back often! Maybe you can give me a couple of ideas....the next thing I am gonna get into, I think, is freakin' spam!

Grover

spam!!!....i could go for hours on that one!!.....
monsy

I added the Spam entry and one on cell phones. I am about to check out your page. Just curious, hoe did you come across my page?

Ahem...

YOU MUST NOT BE TALKING ABOUT SAN DIEGANS RIGHT?!?!

And Monsy didn't even defend me. I see. I'll agree that *maybe* we're a bit ignorant about that water stuff that comes out of the sky every, oh, 10 years, and maybe we're not the best drivers.... okay, well I can only compare to Mexico, which isn't really great, so I'll shut up. I'll just let you know that I'm a bit hurt. Just a bit.

*Fenchurch curls up in corner, a single twinkling tear rolling down her face*

Fenchurch --

Most of that does deal with San Diego County, however, not exclusivly! That does include the few times I was in San Bernadino, LA, Riverside, and the surronding areas, but yes you are correct; it deal PRIMARILY with San Diegans. Didn't mean to upset you. Forgive me???

Grover

Fenchurch...i am sure he would of added that you were the exception if he had been given the opportunity to witness your driving first hand ....here have this special basket prepaired just for you, it will chear you up posthaste i am positive of that much
monsy

Well..er...no. I don't think he would, now that I've gone and thought about my own behaviour in the rain

"Oh no... what's that... it's getting dark... why isn't the sky too bright a shade of blue? Wha---what's happening? I think I'd better slow down in case authorities need the road to investigate the situation...or wait... maybe I should hurry and get home, where it's safe...oh dear I'm so confused..."

ROTFLMAO!!!....given that tidbit of information....no, i don't think he would
monsy

And that's before the water comes down- just imagine how it is when the stuff falls.... I actually scream and put the little sun blocker folder things that keep the car cool on the windshield to protect myself.