h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Some Ideas for the Short Term Unemployed - A2847927
Author: salicyclic (keeper of worn out leather army boots) - U211830

i wrote this article a couple of years ago and got some good feedback when i published it in Writing Workshop, but it has been left unfinished since then.
the original entry did recieve a few helpful comments which were lost when i deleted it to replace it with my revised entry - i'd like to give those people credits for their suggestions so if you are one of these people please let me know.
this article was written while i was in a period of unemployment myself, but of course my experiences and ideas will be differnet to those of others, so if you've anything to add, please do.
i wanted to add more links to other H2G2 articles, but my computer engaged in a bit of dummy spitting regarding the H2G2 search engine. i'm a bit uncertain about the best way to go about selecting articles as there were sometimes several that were relevant - i've tried to pick those most applicable (and also snuck in a few of my favourites).

thanks, salicyclic

Hi there! Sorry it's taken so long for someone to comment on this, I hope you're coming back to hootoo at some point!

Anyway, this entry really does seem to have quite a lot in common with this one -- A956315, Coping With Redundancy. Your entry seems to be very well written, but it might be worth going through and trying to give it a focus that is distinct from this other one.


Mikey

doh!

i haven't been around due to a dummy-spitting computer, but this experience has taught me that if i had finished the article when i intitially started writing it, i wouldn't be in this position

i'll see what i can salvage from it and attempt a re-write that takes the idea in a different direction as soon as el-freezo the pc makes a proper recovery

thanks for your feedback
salicyclic

Great! Just stop by here and let us know when you've had the chance.


Mikey

Hmmm..... Our author was last around a few weeks ago, so maybe we can hold out hopes for a return.

hey, i'm still around, albeit intermittently..

i was thinking about how i could change this article into something slightly different - perhaps something about cheap thrills?

*scurries off to check for similar articles*

Are you still working on this?

Are you still here?

yep, still here.

moving interstate in two weeks, but still wanting to do something with my little piece of h2g2. are you interested in a collaboration? i need some sort of impetus to get me working on this again..

I'm a little busy with some entries at the moment to take on anything else, but I've checked the spelling and grammar:


'The good news is, these problems'
-->
'The good news is that these problems'


The first paragraph after 'You were fired' needs some reworking, and so does the first sentence in the next paragraph.


'Rest assured during this period that you will not wither and die without your job, and that any embarrassment or regret will fade with time, especially seeing as your ex-co-workers are not around to playfully remind you.'
-->
'Rest assured that during this period you will not wither and die without your job, and also any embarrassment or regret will fade away as your ex-coworkers will not be around to playfully remind you.'


'Display some entrpreneurial skills'
-->
'Display some entrepreneurial skills'


'Make new friends, could be an option, although it's fairly drastic, and most people’s friends aren't that bad once you get to know them.'
-->
'Make new friends - this is a fairly drastic option, and most friends aren't that bad once you get to know them.'


'Yet living off the dole or your savings, need not confine you to more pedestrian pursuits such as watching television and sleeping.'
-->
'However, living off the dole or your savings need not confine you to more pedestrian pursuits such as watching television and sleeping.'


'household items secondhand at'
-->
'household items second-hand at'


'almost completely spent within twenty four hours'
-->
'almost completely spent within twenty-four hours'


'and leave your bank card at home'
-->
'and leave your bankcard at home'


'feeling a bit low on your recently-reduced income'
-->
'feeling a bit low on your recently reduced income'


'but when the lightheadedness of being a millionaire'
-->
'but when the light-headedness of being a millionaire'

'anatomically bizzare in some other way'
-->
'anatomically bizarre in some other way'


'Plus, you’ll be doing your part'
-->
'In addition, you’ll be doing your part'


'All of which are free or fairly close to it.'
-->
'All of these pastimes are free or at least reasonably inexpensive.'


'nibbly things on crackers'

This could do with changing, as I can't find the word 'nibbly' in the dictionary...


'Perhaps it is time to give form to your creative ideas. Or write an article for The Hitch Hiker’s Guide. Or study ‘Neoclassical Assumptions in Contemporary Prescriptive Grammar’ or something equally obscure'
-->
'Perhaps it is time to give form to your creative ideas. You could also write an article for The Hitch Hiker’s Guide, or study ‘Neoclassical Assumptions in Contemporary Prescriptive Grammar’ or something equally obscure.'


'Buy secondhand board games' --> 'Buy second-hand board games'


'Trivial Pursuit, Strip Poker, Monopoly and Hungry Hungry Hippos'

Maybe you could italicise these board game names.


'or by getting our your role-playing die.'
-->
'or by getting out your role-playing die.'


'and publish your own zine'

Do you mean magazine? If not, you need to explain in a footnote what a 'zine' is.


'non profit organisations' --> 'non-profit organisations'


'the local The Salvation Army or Meals on Wheels, or the international Amnesty Organisation or Red Cross,'
-->
'your local The Salvation Army or Meals on Wheels, or even the international Amnesty Organisation or Red Cross,'


'grammatical mistakes in phonebox graffiti'
-->
'grammatical mistakes in phone box graffiti'


'Most religions have the bonus of being like Hotmail, free to sign up, and very useful too.'

I don't think this is a good way of putting this, as it advertises Hotmail.


'And if there's nothing out there' --> 'If there's nothing out there'

'and the tax exempt status' --> 'and the tax-exempt status'


'The Internationale' should be in either quotes or italics.


'even eventually traveling' --> 'even eventually travelling'


Hope this helps

Alex

Are you still still here?

Nope, the author has been gone for more than 2 months. Should we move this thread to the Flea Market?

Yup, I know there was someone who was thinking of doing something like this so Flea Market would be a good place. Seconded *big rubber stamp*