h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We crossed fields over styles, following paths on an Ordnance Survay Map. Found a small wood on a ridge. In it there was the sound of running water, but no stream to be found. There was a gully, so I scraped the fallen leaves there and found moisture. Was it a spring, I wondered.

Walked slowly back through the sunny fields. I loitered behind the others to have a moments peace. Closed my eyes to feel the sunshine on my eyelids, placed my hand on a wooden fence to feel the warmth there. The earth seemed to radiate serenity.

Rob's mind was set in pain and anger. He feels he is hard done by, used, overworked and undervalued. I try giving him suggestions to change our situation but he doesn't want to listen. He tells me I'm useless, that he has all the responsibility. I examine my actions. Yes I can be lazy, I could work harder, I'm trying to make things better. But every day together has the edge taken off by his unhappiness. Even a beautiful day like today.

Fats, I'm not sure if you want comment on this..however I think you would not have published such candid things in this forum if you didn't mind someone elses take on things! So with a great dollop of humility..as I don't want to sound like I have all the answers (far from it)..I would suggest that Rob blaming you is too convenient..maybe he is going through a mid life stage? I would not take the blame for his unhapiness, he has to take responsibility for that. Especially as you have made the move to fulfill some of the things he/(you both have identified) are causing stress for him/and you as a couple..and are trying your best to ellivate some of the pressures that he has mentioned...You definetly have a poetic talent Fats I love your description of your walk..not easy to live with somebody who is unhappy and constantly blaming you...Can I make the point that if he keeps calling you useless (something I can vehemently state you are not and I only know a small part of you) then this is bound to chip away at your confidence and you need a lot of confidence to keep up the job hunting, a process that can be a roller coaster for the emotions. Maybe this could be pointed out to him fats, in a time when he is more receptive. Look hope that is some sort of help..Don't wear the blame fats..Lot of best wishes Serin

Dear Serin,

You're such a sweetie. Thanks for taking the time to send a thoughtful reply.

I suppose I was half writing because I think you should be able to write about your feelings, and half because I was trying to express the duality of happiness and sadness being there at the same time.

Hope I'm not being maudlin too often - hopefully a time of change at the moment. As you say "there's a lot of it in the air at the moment", or something along those lines. I always say too much in conversation, so suppose I am likely to be like that in writing. I never feel that I have much to hide. We all are stumbling along - no-ones soul is that black - apart from a few perhaps.

And what about YOUR happiness, Fats? Does Rob do anything to secure it?? Kick him where the sun don't shine and have him look at HIS actions
Lovely writing though.

R and L

Saralafs