h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Rather interesting topic, but I was surprised not to find an entry for driving in Montreal.. Certainly it is an experience not to be missed, especially for someone who happens to have Ontario license plates on their car. Most of the locals immediately indentify you as being "the enemy" and will make every effort to express their feelings. Since you are a guest in their home, it is only proper etiquette that you allow them to precede you, if you don't they will non-chalantly cut infront of you to show their superiority and ensure you are kept in your place. Heaven forbid you should be arrogant enough to ask directions, but should you have the nerve then in their customary response to reply "en francais" sending you driving the wrong way down one of their numerous one-way streets. When driving along one of the wider main one-way streets, (that for some reason have no lines indicating just how many lanes the street was meant to have) it is customary to squeeze 5 lanes of cars on a street that was obviously built for 4 lanes (that is why no lane markers were painted on the road..so the locals could decide for themselves how manycars they could fit). On afore-mentioned road it is also assumed that it is perfectly acceptable to travel in the right-hand lane until such time as one needs to make a left-hand turn. Then by all means it is required that at the last moment to cut sharply across the other 4 lanes in order to make you turn before the light changes. Montreal has to be unique among Canadian cities for the courtesy shown to other drivers. An experience not to be missed.

You missed a few points

- When buying a new car, a rebate can be gained from the dealer if you assure him/her that the indicators will not actually be used. This rebate is compulsory for all taxi drivers.

- The wearing of snow tyres should not even be considered until at least the third or fourth snow of the year. However, it is important that everybody in the city changes tyres over the same few days. This ensures that you can never get the tyres you want and are forced to by the most expensive ones offered by your local dealer (They're the only ones left eh!) This can be likened to the Montreal Moving Weekend (see entry)

I forgot to add :

- Four way stop signs are the true test of "Whose car is bigger". Snowploughs win. This is also the time to practice your "rolling stop" technique. The true rolling stop is slow enough to see if anything is coming from another direction, but fast enough to make sure you get there before anybody else who is also performing a rolling stop. The technique can take years to perfect but like most advanced techniques (such as snowplough passing and handbrake turns on ice) is not taught in driving school.

- Quebec, unlike it's largest neighbour, Ontario, and most of the US, does not have a right-turn on red rule. This is part of the hidden "tourist tax".

actually never thought about that before..can never remember when I am there.

but actually I love Montreal.. it's one of my favourite cities... just the drivers... make go nuts..

That "rolling stop" technique is not taught by reputable driving schools and instructors for a very good reason. You see, when a driver rolls through the stop sign they are usually sure that the way is clear of vehicular traffic. Unfortunately it's the pedestrians and cyclists using the sidewalks that are then put at risk. These individuals are notoriously hard to spot. They wear dark clothing at night, have no lights to help drivers see them, and are soft and squishy. Ahhh...but they see you and they assume that you can see them. The 70 Kg person versus the 1200 Kg car: No contest! Even at 5 Km/hr!

Besides, making perfect, bump-free, full stops is a skill. Not everyone can do it. Please don't feel bad if you haven't perfected this skill yet. It takes practice. Lots, and lots, of practice.

I had to chucle when I read the above comments. All true.
But I would trade anything to be back in montreal.
Actually, after driving with the farmers in Calgary
for a few years, you learn to appreciate the no-nonsense
montreal techniques.
90% of the drivers in calgary don't know how to
merge.

Is TOPS in laval still a thriving niteclub?
Thursday nites at TOPS was the hilite of
my week. Dance till 3 then drag myself
into the office on Friday.

kgb

I live in Ottawa, but have lived a good chunk of my life in Montreal (much more than here), the rest in Britain. I find it a relief to drive in Montreal compared to Ottawa - It is far less dangerous. You are not being picked on - I drive to Montreal very often in my ON registered car, and will be cut off just as much as any Montrealer. The trick is, that you have to realise the gap in front of you can and will probably fit another car given the chance, in busy traffic.

In Ottawa some idiot in a minivan will decide to stop in the middle of traffic on the highway and cause an accident - or go through a red light - Something I have seen happen in front of my eyes causing a serious accident 3 times in 3 years in the centre of Ottawa and never in 11 years living in the centre of Montreal (or anywhere else in the world).

In Montreal the fast lane moves faster than the slower lanes (to the left). In Ottawa, either half the people do not know this or they think that driving in the passing lane at 90Kmh is good defensive driving - even when there is nothing in the 2 lanes to the left.Or they think the convention is the same as in Britain.

I do not ride a bicycle on the streets in Ottawa if I can help it - I want to live and not be crippled. I rode a bicycle in rush hour frequently along Decarie and St. Catherine, St. Denis etc. for years - no problem.

I meant "2 lanes to the right" - been driving here too long!