h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In general, driving a motor vehicle in the United States of America is a widely varied skill. Every state has their own laws, guidelines, and types of intimidations on how to handle their cars.There are some basic laws that govern all 50 states, though:
1) keep your auto on the right-hand side of the road, unless you like to meet interesting people face-to-face REALLY fast.
2) keep up to date on all the latest American curse words and gestures, as you will need to use and/or translate them as travelling.

Within each individual state, you should get to know their particular laws before driving. For instance, Delaware does NOT have a seatbelt law, but they don't need one since nobody drives for more than an hour there before hitting another state, and ALL the surrounding states DO have seatbelt laws.

A quick note on Speed Limits: These are posted to give drivers a general idea on how fast they are to drive. If your speedometer is BELOW that number, you are more likely to be rear-ended than if you go faster. This does not apply in Ohio, though, since if you go as FAST as the posted limit, you've OBVIOUSLY done something illegal, and MUST go to jail.

Passing: in general, you should stay to the right, and pass to the left. However, if you are within the Beltway area of Washington DC, passing can be done at ANY angle: the right, the left, past on the shoulder, leaping over through the air, and tunneling under the highway from beneath. Be ready for anything!

Every state also has one other characteristic to know of: a Nearby state that they have, as a group, determined that no one there knows how to drive. This is, of course, generalistic, and based in very little fact. Although, I tend to go the other way whenever I see a license plate from New Jersey or Connecticut!

Speaking of Connecticut, we should mention the sneaky fact the the police cars in Connecticut are not the tradional white with black or other detail work, but powder blue? Sneaky devils. Like anyone from out of state that's ever been found dazed and giggling after being pulled over by one of these sissy vehicles would ever forget that detail ever again.

Also, It's a fact that Connecticut's highways are constantly in a state of "Under Construction". Always.

You are right about Ohio. I forgot to waive a ticket and went before the judge for it. She said that if I got another speeding ticket within 1 year I would be spending 30 days in the pokey. I looked at her with the eyes of a child who has just had his ice cream taken away and she said "Yes, I put people in jail for speeding." I was going less than 10 miles an hour over the limit too! As an added bonus there is now a few miles of interstate near Cleveland where it's illegal to talk on your cell phone while driving.

I should add, on the state of Traffic Lights: it is generally ccepted in the states that you can safely go through the intersection on a green light, and not to proceed on a red. The yellow light, however, can be tramslated as either immediately slamming on the brakes, thereby causing those behind you to panic swerve; or to immediately accelerate to the car's fullest extent, and almost invariably blast through the last-minute red light and hit a crossing police car.

I've never been to Connecticuit, but I can't imagine that there's more construction than in Pennsylvania.

I have a 1 1/2 hour drive from my college to my house, and I hit THREE different construction zones on THREE different highways... now THAT is construction, my friend.

But despite all the construction, Pennsylvania still has the worst roads in the USA... isn't that amazing?

My experience of "Driving in the States" is confined to Florida, (about 3000 miles currently) and I have enjoyed driving most of them.
I did manage to raise my heart rate quite considerably when driving out of Sarasota on the Gulf Coast. Upon hearing the clanging of a loud bell (great Doppler effect)I noticed I'd passed a red light, still wondering what I had done I was blasted by the sound of a very large ships horn, realising that I was in the middle of a lifting bridge I hit the accelerator and got moving only to notice a cool dude(baseball cap on back to front)in a beat up old Dodge saloon speeding past me, he gave me a respectful glance and sped off.
He had obviously ran the red light as well. I looked in my rearview mirror to see the bridge rising quickly into the air. After that incedent I felt I had been accepted into the American style of driving

There are a couple of other details about driving in the States that need to be addressed:

First, remember that turn signals are options that come with every car. While it is perfectly legal to use them when turning, few real American drivers use them.So, if you don't want to look like a tourist, don't use your turn signals.

Secondly, the traffic lights. Green means go, red stop. Amber is where most foriegn visiters have problems.. in normal practice it means speed up to make the light before it turns red.Also, if you can see the traffic light for the cross traffic, an amber light for them means you may proceed before the light turns green, but do it quickly.

Thirdly, good old "road rage", when you encounter drving behaviour that seems wrong to you, don't be afraid to make gestures at the miscreant, also do alot of honking and yelling ( though the other driver can't hear you, the bulging viens in your neck will let him know you mean business.) Of course there is a drawback to this, confrontation. Therefore, never stop to discuss anothers driving inadequacies face to face. Remember, in America it's okay to carry firearms in cars and that other jerk may just have one !

There are a few other driving tips, but these are the basics and should get you through to your destination.

Ah yes my friend - Pennsylvania. I live and commute in PA, smack dab in the middle of some the worst highways currently under construction, (I-476, 76, 95; Rtes 202, 252, 22, 33) on roads that NEVER get better, but simply change their blacktop every summer in an effort to keep PennDOT contractors in business. Must be that I've been driving through this garbage so long I forgot to mention it.

US 22-322. Harrisburg area. Dauphin Bypass.
Need I say more?