h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I always thought a key component of curling was the availability of beer at the club, so you could chug in between heaving (apologize for the lack of knowledge of formal term) a rock across the ice. If you leave your 24 pack of Molson Export (Labatt 50 in Quebec) at the side of the lake in winter here it will freeze in a few minutes - driving the traditional outdoor lake curler to join the local club. Even our 9% alc. Maudite beer from Quebec will congeal before long. I've heard curling's a riot after a few pints of that (haven't tried it - the curling bit that is).

Out on the lake you could always attempt to bowl over the odd skier or brave deer if you get bored.

The other problem with curling on the lakes here is that ice fishing is quite popular. This sport involves driving your car across the lake armed with a 24 pack of Export/50, stake your spot, drill hole in ice, put up a tent (stops beer freezing too fast), drop baited line in hole and drink beer. A few misplaced curling stones would disturb the fishes if they fall in the fishing hole - if that mattered.

Mind you, driving into a deer or curling stone on the ice would probably not require a bull bar, as the low friction would probably reduce the shock enough - providing your vehicle is large enough to keep enough momentum.

Most people would wear a hat when driving out to their fishing hole - A nice red and black tartan one with ear flaps works great.

We do to have ice rinks! Just not many of them...

There is one in Christchurch. For many years there have been rumours of an additional one being built, but it never eventuates. A fun thing to do at the ice rink is to remark to a regular skater that you hear there is a new plan to build a rink in the immediate future. Before the evening is out you will hear the same rumour, except now it is going to be built out at the ex-airforce base land at Wigram and work has already started, completion expected by the start of the next hockey season. You will also be able to learn who is funding the venture and what size rink it will be.

A new one one has recently opened in Hastings on the North island of NZ.

The local paper yesterday featured a picture of an experienced Canadian skater who had broken his collarbone while skating.

The Canadian said there was too much water on the ice and he couldn't believe the placement of the childs-head-high stainless steel "safety bar" surrounding the rink.

Children do not have to wear head-gear which apparently is compulsory in Canada.

No curling though

Well .. No. Curling's no good in a puddle. One of the most intriguing bits about this pastime are the folks who run on grippy shoes ahead of the stone frantically rubbing the ice with brooms. They would just be pushing water around and paddling ankle deep. The water would slow things down a bit. (hydroplane curling?)

The child's head smashing bars would just cause the stray curler to bend ove,r or if they where still crouching might cause a head injury.

P.S. In Texas they have the biggest of everything. In Ottawa we have the longest of everything - including the longest ice rink in the world (also known as the Rideau Canal in the Summer - built by a Col. By last century - no kidding). One of the biggest touist things here is to toodle up and down this during a yearly "Winterlude" - The "'lude" part alluding to the experience one will have driving through local traffic to get there.

News flash - Protective headgear for children will be introduced on a trial basis at Splash Planet's ice-skating rink in Hastings, NZ.

No news on curling being played in the concrete carpark using large rocks and heavy duty brooms

Well thats a solution waiting for a problem (as a phrase a friend of mine jokingly referred to Canada's international position).

I suppose you are just coming out of your Winter now and getting ready for Summer activities. We are getting ready to freeze. I probably had my last barbeque tonight this year with friends (it was a bit nippy). In 3 or 4 months liquid water will not exist outside. At -35C your breath actually falls in solid form before that 50Km/h wind can blow it away. Is it suprising the curlers build clubhouses to hide in and practice their pastime?

We make good kid-size hockey helmets here in Canada. Any chance of an export agreement with you Kiwis?