h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Scran = food
Radge = mad, crazy person
Barry = spendid
Mingin' = smelly (or drunk)
Shunky = toilet

Keech - excrement, rubbish. Not sure about the spelling, as it is usually only spoken and rarely written down. Pronounced like "key" with the "ch" sound (as in "loch") on the end. Not to be confused with "quiche", although a true Scotsman, when presented with a slice of quiche, may exclaim, "Ah'm no' eatin' this keech!"

Numpty = idiot, foolish person
Cloot = cloth
Dicht = wipe (as in "Ah'll just gie it a wee dicht wi' a cloot.")
Erse = bottom
Windae = window
Yer erse is oot the windae = you are unlikely to achieve the desired result whilst indulging in that kind of behaviour.

Yet mair slang (mair=more):

shoogly= wobbly
hoachin' = full (as in "Ma haggis is hoachin wi' wee beasties")
fit? = Pardon? (Aberdeen only)
fit like? = How are you? (Aberdeen)
winchin = currently engaged in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex

and there's probably more... I'll be in touch....

GTF = Go away, leave me alone, don't bother me. Abbreviation of "Get tae f**k", NOT "Ginger The Feisty".

Couple more from Aberdeen:

Breenge --- verb, to move in a rapid, devil-may-care fashion, esp while drunk or intoxicated with your own self-importance. Generally associated with breenging into a room where a nasty surprise of some sort awaits you.

Ye'd mak a better door nor a windae -- you're blocking my view

And yet more from Aberdeen!

Teuchter - (various spellings) - Quine or Loon fae the country!
Chuntryneep - Peterhead (town)
The Broch - Fraserburgh (town)

Question - 'Foos yer Doos?'
Answer - 'Aye chaffin, aye Pechin'
Translation - 'How are you doing?'
' Quite well, thank you'

All hae a troch 'o roch, un a puck 'o richy peg.
- 'I would like a pint of export ale and a packet of smokey bacon crisps please'
(teuchter spik) - The language of country people.

Rooked - no money
Ben - through (As in "bring my 'bru ben when 'ye come"

Yuechter also means (here in deepest Cumbernauld) anybody north east of Falkirk, ye ken (ye ken= you understand, you know)

How about Naw = no
aw naw=oh no (usually an exclamation of dissapointment)

How 'bout..

gonnae no = please don't
just gonnae no = I'm telling you, please don't
dae = do
that = that

I'd also like to say :

Dr. E Vibenstein - is that a cool name or what!!!

Did you realise that's an anagram of 'NEVER SIT IN BED'

manky=dirty
boggin=dirty (and probably smelling)
huey=vomit

luckily he's not called Dr. E Vibenshtein then...

Good thing I got out of bed!