h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here in the UK we have a t.v programme presented by that wonderful man, Paul Merton (all hail). It's called Room 101. It's based on the novel 1984 by George Orwell and on it, a celebrity chooses 6 items they would most like to banish into the depths of the earth never to be seen again and have to persuade Paul Merton to put them there. Things like there biggest pet peeves or fears. So here are my 6 items. Hopefully I'll become famous enough to appear on the show and put them in myself. But until then:

1. The novel 1984- Really I just wanted to be ironic but my reason is that it's an annoyingly difficult book to read. Also half way through there is a book which the character is reading. At the end of that he reads it again. So ahlf the book doesn't need to be there.

2. Van Halen, ABBA and Wham- This is bands who smile during all there songs. In particularly Van Halen. Anyone who has seen the video for Jump should know why. Theres probably a million suicidalists who died because they misinterprated that song. Also when they're singing, it keeps changing focus for different solos and I'm sure it was just the one guy playing every instrument. Either way, they annoy the pants off me.

3. Fish- They're Ugly, they don't taste nice, they're boney, you can't play with them, their heads look like they're about to fall off, their eyes look like they're about to fall out and they generally sicken me.

4. My mate Gaz being drunk- Normally when he's drunk, I'm about 5 times more drunk so while I'm throwing up everywhere or being depressed in a corner he's just making out with nice girls and telling me to go to sleep. That depresses me.

ALTERNATIVELY- If I can't have that because no-one knows him I'm putting flies into Room 101. This is because flies keep me awake all night in the summer. However I can control those with a Venus Fly Trap.

5. Jehova's Witnesses- Not just JWs but people who try to change my religion. I'm quite happy with my own religion- a mix between Wicca, Satananism (church of satan), Buddism, Taosim and fatalitism.

6. Pop-Punk- They type of music which is all too common nowadays and is just filling up the rock channels and taking attention away from origional music.

I agree with most of yours(I like my fish). Here goes mine....

1. People who go 50 in a 55mph zone in places you can't pass them when your in a hurry.

2. Power trippin police officers who give out tickets for goin 65 in a 55mph zone because your in a hurry.

3. People who don't see the humor in naming a planet Uranes.

4. Kids toys that brake after one use.

5. Politicans that arent in politics for the greater good of the people.

6. Merriam and Webster (the writers of the dictionary).

I suppose I'm only allowed 6 so I better stop.

I approve. ALthough I wouldn't know about the speeding ones- I don't drive.... yet.

Why the dictionary writers? I thought Samuel Johnson wrote the dictionary but I may be misunderstanding your point.

1. People who don't return your calls.
2. People who answer their cell phones during movies and plays and in the middle of conversations and while driving.
3. Big box stores which have put the neighborhood stores out of business.
4. People who screen their calls when ever you call.
5. People who can't be bothered to vote. Or who don't care enough to make an informed vote.
6. People.

Hehehe Good choices. Especially the last one.

1. I was going to go for sport but
2. car drivers with loud stereos and open windows
3. car drivers
4. 'reality' TV
5. makeover shows (houses, gardens, people, all of them)
6. 'celebrities' whose only achievement is having slept with someone famous or having a large bust or similar

ok. well i suppose its my turn now....
from one to six, not in any order at all....

1. fefar
2.rude people that make you feel bad
3.people that are way smarter than me and who know it and rub it in
4.anything that depresses me
5.sickness
6.school(we should all just be born smart....)

hope some of those werent too general....

grr... now i have something else to add!!!
oh well... i suppose it cant be helped....

I don't think they're too general but this isn't my thread...and I don't know what "fefar" is. Should I hate it anyway?

yes... yes you shuold hate it anyway....

actually i meant fear...

I thought it must be some foodstuff like tofu

no, not quite

Yeah, I thought it was some exotic food too. Like felafel or something. I love felafel. Fear, is another matter.

I thought it was Fifa football assosiation. But maybe not. All good choices for Room 101 and I think if I could, I'd put them all in. And it doesn't matter how vauge or exact they are either I don't mind.