h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some things you get over with age, Some you don't.
COTTON WOOL
I am glad to say I have got over the touching of Cotton Wool. It was in the late sixties working on a lithographic printing press, I first discovered the phenomenon. The machines needed cleaning and you applied the cleaning fluid to the rollers with Cotton Wool. Ready to start I picked up the dreaded material and to my horror, my hand went quite limp as a strange sensation shot up my arm. I literally had a hard job holding onto it, it seemed to melt into my fingers with a difficult to describe crinckly feeling. It took well over a year of cleaning those machines, up to three times a day, to be able to play with and use Cotton Wool like any normal human being, but now I am cured.

SMOKED SALMON
Just imagine the scene, a young couple very much in love, entering the world famous Waldorf Hotel in London, with both sets of parents on tow. It was a ladies night, Dinner & Dance, and dress was not optional. A Hired Evening Suit (Thanks MosBros) for me and my future wife wore a dress, fit for a Queen, The flaired skirt type with thousands of petticoats underneath, OK it seemed like thousands.

We all sat down at the table and were served with a starter course of Smoked Salmon. Fish has never been a favourite of mine, yet I was encouraged to try it by my mother. Knife and fork poised, I cut into the fish and placed a healthy portion on my fork, and it entered into my mouth. One bite and the taste hit me like a bat from hell. The remains left my mouth with such force as to land on my then girl friend's beautiful evening dress. They told me afterwards that I had turned a pale shade of green and would not have believed it if they hadn't seen it with thier own eyes. All I knew was my head was spinning, I felt sick and almost lost consciousness. Lucky the Salmon didn't stain the dress, and the rest of the evening went with a swing. I have never touch Salmon since and I doubt if I ever will. I'll stick with the good old Cod & Chips from the chippy.
vegiman

My dad shares your hatred of cotton wool. Even the little bits you get in the top of a bottle of tablets to stop them rattling. Shame really, as he used to work in the tablets department of a phamaceutical company.

I can sympathise about the smoked salmon. I actually like salmon in general. I always liked the tinned stuff, and as an adult aquired the taste for salmon steaks and the like. However my first encounter with smoked salmon put me off it for ages. The texture, the taste, the sliminess. Ugh! Makes me shudder just thinking of it.

Shut up Queazer, you'll make me Queazy (Bad Joke) worse to come.

I typed the above out rather quickly this morning and some of it does not read right so here it is again, although the grammer may still need a litlte attention.

Subject: Cotton Wool and Smoked Salmon
Some things you get over with age, Some you don't.
COTTON WOOL
I am glad to say I have got over the touching of Cotton Wool. It was in the late sixties, working on a lithographic printing press when I first discovered the phenomenon. The machines needed cleaning, and you applied the cleaning fluid to the rollers with Cotton Wool. Ready to start I picked up the dreaded material and to my horror, my hand went quite limp as a strange sensation shot up my arm. I literally had a hard job holding onto it, it seemed to melt into my fingers with a difficult to describe crinckly feeling. It took well over a year of cleaning those machines, up to three times a day, to be able to play with and use Cotton Wool like any normal human being, but now I am cured.

SMOKED SALMON
Just imagine the scene, a young couple very much in love. They enter the world famous Waldorf Hotel in London, with both sets of parents on tow. It was a ladies night Dinner & Dance, and dress was not optional. A Hired Evening Suit (Thanks MossBros) for me, and my future wife wore a dress fit for a Queen. The kind where the skirt section was flaired with thousands of petticoats underneath, OK it seemed like thousands.

We all sat down at the table and were served with a starter course of Smoked Salmon. Fish has never been a favourite of mine, yet I was encouraged to try it by my mother. Knife and fork poised, I cut into the fish and placed a healthy portion onto my fork. My arm began to rise in a hesitating manor. The fork full of sensual delights to tickle the taste buds entered my mouth. One bite and the taste hit me like a bat straight from hell. The remains left my mouth with such a force as to land on my then girl friend's beautiful evening dress. They told me afterwards that I had turned a pale shade of green, and would not have believed it if they hadn't seen it with thier own eyes. All I knew was that my head was spinning, I felt sick and almost lost consciousness. Lucky the Salmon didn't stain the dress, and the rest of the evening went swingingly. I tell you now, never has salmon passed my lips since and I doubt if I ever will. I'll stick with the good old Cod & Chips from the chippy.
vegiman

The sound of cotton wool tearing that's horrible and cotton wool on my teeth - I'm grimacing as I write this, yuech.
I suspect it goes back to hideous visits to the dentist.

cotton wool, I've come over all sweaty at the mention of the dreaded stuff.

I sympathise with you, I know excately where you are coming from.
vegiman

May a true work spoken in jest.
You have discovered the origin of my name. Years back I used to be known as 'Jumping John Sick'.

Don't ask!

WooW I can't spell exactly excatley right can I

Queazer I promise I won't ask - But Why? another promise gone to the wind.
vegiman

A crowd of us used to go to a heavy metal 'disco' and after a dozen or so pints I used do a lot of jumping around on the dance floor. ONCE I was a little bit... erm... green around the gills on the train on the way home. I've never lived it down. "I shag ONE sheep..."

I wish I'd never asked.
vegiman

I wish I'd never answered!

Answered what? NO don't bother, I never heard or saw anything.
vegiman

I think Smoked Salmon is one of the most delicious foods there are which just goes to show how subjective these skinny crawly things can be. However I agree that it is a bit unpleasant with cotton wool!

Yeh Smoked salmon and cotton wool don't go together, do they?

Joking - I know what you mean.

I have never got over the smoked salmon experience - yet I have with the cotton wool.
vegiman

I quite like smoked salmon, but I can't be doing with King Size Prawns - I try to eat them and I get pictures of brains and eyes and intenstines in my head...
Thought you might like to share that...
Also, another wincy thing is people touching my belly button. Don't know what the hell that's about but it's totally gross for me!

There was a program a while back that had a spot called something like 'I'd Do Anything To Get On Television' and I have a horribly vivid recollection of one girl who stuck her tongue into the belly-button of some sweaty fat bloke. Uuugh!

Some people are truly sick, I may have to desist visiting this forum, I'm beginning to feel nauseous...

But is it making your skin crawl?

I couldn’t go within a mile of cotton wool for years too and your descriptions of the sensations of it bring it all back. Urgh!! Funny, I’ve never met anyone who felt the same as me on this one before. It’s nice to know I’m not the only freak in town.

I did manage to get over it though – a combination of sensitive skin and starting to wear make-up made the use of balls of the stuff a necessity. It was a real mind over matter situation and on reflection, one of the major triumphs of my adult life - so far.