h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sure, you were in the room when it happened, but you were also wearing a bicycle helmet and claiming to be a pepper mill for half the time, and running round with a hammer shouting "I'm Maxwell! Douglas, where's your anniversary Mac? Bang Bang!" the other half.

Yes, the code was checked into SourceSafe in your name, but that's because you and Bywater grabbed everyone else’s keyboards, dismantled every desk fan in the company and took them all up onto the roof along with what you believed to be a fax from Da Vinci detailing the latest revisions of his flying machine.

Nephew Who tapping on six consoles
"And did the flying machine work?"

Firstly, I never said it was a fax from Da Vinci *himself*.

Secondly, IT BLOODY WORKED! Shim only suffered minor lacerations after falling four stories in something built out of Apple monitors and printer paper. Don't tell me that's not a success.

Thirdly, look at the code itself. It's clearly my Perl, especially line 237:
$despot += ([$_,{s/&&/#!\.][+3]..(chomp($%"jennings"@5);
I was the only one doing Schwartzian Transforms and you know it, you bloody liar.

Besides, I'm sure you remember quite well that you and Jim were utterly extra-cranial on K at the time, frantically rewiring the office lift wearing only your bright yellow Y-fronts and yelling about "vermicious knids". Poor Sophie still suffers terrible vertigo, you know. But do you care?

(And I've still got that hammer. Whack whack whack!)

This post has been removed by moderators because it violated the house rules.

No, because:
a) He *was* asking for it (I still have a recording)
b) It was only made illegal in legislation passed two years later
c) It only lasted fifteen seconds anyway.

Besides, what would *you* have done with all that WD40?

Sounds like the sexual debut of a friend of mine, Yoz...