h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The milky way she walks around,
All feet firmly on the ground
Two worlds collide, two worlds collide
Here comes the future bride
Gimme a lift to the lunar base
I wanna marry a monster from outer space.

I fell in love with an alien being
Whose skin was jelly - whose teeth were green
She had the big bug eyes and the death ray glare
Feet like water wings - purple hair.
I was over the moon - I asked her back to my place
Then I married the monster from outer space.

Our days were numbered - the nights were spent
in a rent free furnished oxygen tent
When a cyborg chef served up moon beams
done super rapid on a laser dream
I needed nutrition to keep up the pace
when I married the monster from outer space.

We walked out - tentacle in hand
You could sense that the earthlings would not understand
they'd go...nudge nudge...when we got off the bus
saying its extra-terrestrial, not like us
and its bad enough with another race
but f**k me...a monster...from outer space.

In a cybernetic fit of rage
she p****d off to another age
she lives in 1999
with her new boyfriend - a blob of slime
each time I see her translucent face
I remember the monster from outer space.

***

Would love to say that I had written this, but no ... I thought I'd let you sample John Cooper Clark. He's our home-grown poet from Salford. Very proud we are too!
I hope it made you laugh.

Tracy.

Hi Tracy I was just visiting Ms Pen Jen when this title grabbed me...no wonder when you explained at the end who wrote it...bloody funny man and really funny that you should place it on the site if you check the John Peel RIP thread, I was just talking about John Cooper Clark, that John Peel actually turned me onto him in the late 70's when I was a yoof...and I was asking if he was still around...I guess like attracts like hey Tracy...er Sorry to but in on your conversation with Ms Pen Jen...just an exciteable pup Tracy and had to react on the spur...catch you later Serin

Hi Tracy,

I LOVED that poem had me giggling through my crunchy-nut cornflakes! Could really imagine it being read aloud , oh how I want to be an alien! Could be tonight as it's Hallowe'en!

Thanks for that! I must check this Salford lad out for sure! You must now pen a little ditty yourself to even the balance! Go on, go on, go on... Ye will, ye will, ye will!!!


And Sweet Serin, have missed you wagging your little tales/tails about!! Got all 'e's' and will respond soon, hon!

As for Sir Peel - Yes, he is more than a legend in my part of the world. He discovered our own homegrown punk bank, 'The Undertones', ('Teenage Kicks' with Fergal Sharkey), back in the late 70's and earmarked them for stardom; which they dually deserved, got and still kickin' cool to this day. This town owes a lot to the King of radio. He will be greatly missed, genuis and God that he was.

So to Cooper and Peel; I salute you and Sláinte!

We're the rock chicks!

Catch ye later silver sistas! Keep it cool!

Jazzy-Jen