h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So yeah, about a month ago I was formally diagnosed with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. As they are using the DSM-5 criteria I don't have a formal diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, but the nice doctorlady said that's pretty much what it is.

This is not even a little bit of a surprise to me.

Though it was still surprisingly emotional seeing it written down in black and white.

For me what this mainly means is I have a framework on which to manage my behaviour. I suspect that being diagnosed as an adult has been a great help in some respects as I've not grown up being told I'm 'special' or 'different' (except as playground pejoratives) so don't expect the neurotypical world to bend to my requirements.

A whole bunch of stuff makes extra sense now too. Apparently being polyamorous is common in ASD people as poly requires clearly defined and agreed rules and boundaries whereas monogamy is all about the unwritten and unspoken and therefore is massively confusing. Also things like my need to eat with matching cutlery, or finding it soothing to fiddle with spreadsheets, and my various sensory issues, and having emotional meltdowns over things that are objectively quite trivial.

What happens now is onwards and upwards, I will never use my condition as an excuse for bad behaviour, but as a means to explain it to people so fences can be mended if necessary.

I also learned a great term from a prospective FWB: "aspie strop", which is basically when you're tired and cranky and have run out of spoons and just don't know how to deal with the world at that point except to be all grizzly and tired.

Now I get the "Rainman" tag.

The way you describe it as an advantage that you were diagnosed as an adult is very interesting.

And, going by some of the symptoms you describe, it would seem that many more of us are somewhere on the spectrum than you would think. I can certainly identify with some of those things you mention. Up to a certain point along that scale, though, a person is is probably considered "normal". Maybe some time in the future, we will all have a rating on the autism spectrum, and no longer be divided between those who "are" and those who "aren't".

Keep us posted as to how you get along and if you find anything new about yourself. For example, is it hereditary? Can you now see things in your parents' behaviour in a different light?

There is thought to be a strong genetic component to autism, not necessarily hereditary, but certainly present in blood relations.

I have a lot of issues with the idea that everyone is on the spectrum somewhere. It strikes me as a kind of reverse discrimination where people are (with entirely good intentions) trying to make us feel included, whereas in fact it actually, to an extent, invalidates the struggles we have with getting through everyday life. Sure, everyone makes mistakes with communication, social norms, empathy and so on... but it's the things like how it makes me really uneasy to eat a meal with mismatched cutlery, or that being in a noisy crowd on my own is upsetting to the point of running away and crying that make the difference between autists and everyone else.

OK - point taken. It's hard for someone outside to see. Perhaps comparable with the not-so-fine line dividing "forgetfulness" from "dementia".

"For me what this mainly means is I have a framework on which to manage my behaviour. I suspect that being diagnosed as an adult has been a great help in some respects as I've not grown up being told I'm 'special' or 'different' (except as playground pejoratives) so don't expect the neurotypical world to bend to my requirements."

I'm glad to read that you see this as a positive thing for you.

I know what you mean about not being thought of as 'special' - I was diagnosed with my physical disability as a child, but I was lucky to be able to go to mainstream schools, so I just did what I wanted to do, and the only difference was that I used a wheelchair to do things - learning was expected to be done sitting down mostly, anyway, so that was fine. Now I'm an adult, I carry on with that attitude to things as much as possible.

S'okay TC, I get that it's well-intentioned, and I'm slowly building on my response to such things so it's getting more level-headed and less hot-headed.

The analogy I tend to use is the difference between being neat and fastidious and having OCD.

One thing I've encountered as I investigate the ASD 'community' is a certain determination of some individuals to be seen as 'special' and any issues they have with the world are the world's fault and not anything to do with them needing to learn how to navigate it better.