h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Er...based on this pattern, how does one differentiate the Mass of Christ, Christmas (now known as Thingmas) with the Mass of Stephen, Stevenmans (now also, I assume, known as Thingmas)?

*disdainfully*

I think you misunderstand. There exists no need for differentiation. With the passing of sodit, wibble and all the rest we discovered a more more simple way in which the days of the week are called Thing, Thing, Thing, Thing, Thing, Thing and Thing. It is good that there is only one way, one Thing, one ....... yes well I think you must get the point by now.

When we get back, if I say the word thing, I want people to smack me.

Hold me back ...... we could start the smacking now

*Affy refrains from chuckling at the mental thought of Thingite wikipedia*

Well then, can't dawdle. Got evil to topple before winter ends, and a tree to return.

And about time, too. Lead on to the Dark Tower!

*Prepares to follow Lil, having run the usual checks on her carameliser*

Well I suppose that someone will need to show you the Thingy.

From the halls of The Dark Chocolate Tower its missionaries depart to spread their vile and corrupted ideas. It is a place to be feared and avoided and to be brought here is usually an unpleasant thing. You will need to be on your guard at all times.

The Tower is surrounded by a sticky toffee moat and can only be crossed by the drawbridge which is protected by a Gingerbread Guardhouse. Once inside the Tower complex there is an Inner Courtyard to cross before you can enter the Tower.

The Tower itself has several levels - you will enter on Level II. From here you will have a choice whether to go up or go down. Level II contains the kitchens where the magical s were baked and from here you can go down to Level I where the dungeons are located our up to Level III.

On Level III can be found the Great Hall and from the Hall a narrow spiral staircase leads to Level IV and the Brown Council Chamber. From the Chamber a hidden passage way will take you to Level V and the repository of the One

Along the way you are likely to encounter minions of the One. Some of them are extremely powerful - particularly members of the Brown Council. You may also encounter lost researchers who have been "converted" by them - often in some hideous fashion. It would be helpful if you meet any of these lost souls to try and remind them of their previous existance as this may help them to return to the true way.

Then there is The One himself to deal with ...... I trust you are suitably prepared for this ordeal ?

If you are then your first task is to take the Gingerbread Guardhouse at F1741149?thread=382054 without alerting the Tower.



A more complete description of the Dark Chocolate Tower, its environs and its history can be found at A2296325

*Marvels at the many uses of "blasphemous" words in that description, but doesn't comment on it*

Sounds like the most powerful witch that Hansel and Gretel never faced. Onward then!

I agree, let's get on with it.

*realises that her carameliser could quickly make chocolate coated ginger bread out of her surroundings*

/* Spits out his PAG and checks to see that his weapon still works. */

So how do we get to this gingerbread guardhouse?

*A rift in time opens, showing d'E the ghostly image of Affy following a link a few posts earlier. The image inexplicably closes after it does so*

I didn't follow the link, assuming we would have to get to their somehow first. Is the Gingerbread Guardhouse adjacent to the Temple of the Guide? I'm having a continuity crisis.

substitute "there" for "their". Hic! Happ newy year!

I just assumed that the trip to the guardhouse was one of those things that happens in stories between chapters. Sorry if I jumped the gun.