h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I forgot to tell you guys, till now that is....

Saturday just gone, we went to the bank, Geo and I to open a joint account.

Armed with passports, work permits and SSN and other various bit of ID from the INS we entered the building confidently.

We had been before and we were told I needed to have an SSN. So brandishing it now, we requested my name to be put onto Geo's account.

But nooooooooo not that easy... she informed us that my work permit and SSN and other proof of my exsistance with ID photos was not enuff, even tho last time she informed us all we needed was an SSN, AND that my work permit doesn't allow me into the U.S.

*Grrrr*..we know that the work permit doesn't allow me back into the country we do realise that it's not a visa, and I'm not trying to get into the country now, I am in fact already here *ahem* - it is confirmation that I am legally in this country and that I am allowed to work, pending my *adjustment of status (*greencard, it takes several years to process).

We tried several times, in different ways to explain this simply but she didn't get it. So then she asked for my passport...

After studying my British passport she said...

"this needs to be written in English"

err...

Geo exploded he sputtered in unrestrained polite fury..

"It's a BRITISH PASSPORT, you can't get more ENGLISH than that!"

Anyhow she said, "oh look, it expires soon," she said after examining carefully the dates which read:

Date of issue:
05 NOV/NOV 01
Expiry date:
05 AUG/AOUT 12

She had assumed that it expired next month..August, I tried to tell her it is a 10 year passport...but no, she was having none of it..lets just pretend she was correct for a moment the thing expired before it was issued..

We gave up, and left annoyed and frustrated.

The plan is to get a State ID for me, some utility bills in my name, and a NY State license..perhaps a vial of my blood for them might satisfy their needs too.

Honestly, all I need is proof I am who I say I am, and I'm legally here...wtf...!

My English passport is not English enuff for American Banks... That's got to be the daftest thing said to me yet!

Can't you ask to see the manager?

Someone must have dealt with other Brits moving over before.

Oh, I do love tales of US bureaucracy running like a well-oiled machine ...

Having proposed on another thread that phone companies are gits, might I append the thought that banks are also gits? Even bigger gits, in fact.

The solution is easy, though - be a billionaire. If you are a billionaire, they don't care where you're from or who you say you are: it's all red carpets, executive suites and little glasses of while they sort out the paperwork.

Congratulations to you and Geo on not going crazy ape bonkers in the bank and running around pulling all the pens off their chains.

When I was a fresh-faced lad, I tried to get into a nightclub in Illinois using a British Passport as proof of age. The guy on the door was actually pretty intelligent, but it still took quite a while to convince him that the passport was a *slightly* more serious document than the photocopied driving licenses all the sixteen-year-olds were flashing as they walked straight in!

The problem is that Americans don't travel overseas much, so I guess a lot of us don't know what a passport looks like. I've never seen one myself.

Anyway, it's easier to say "Your ID isn't valid" than to actually do anything productive.

I am trying to calm down from reading your post so I can post something coherant and useful. Nope, can't do it. You two handled yourselves much better than I would have. I'da prolly gotten myself arrested and charged with terrorism if that had happened to me. I'da pulled all the pens out and more. Can you try a different bank. Maybe there's another bank where the employees aren't morons somewhere 'round there.

Speak to the bank manager and say you need to change your bank because they are being obstructive about adding you on. be calm and make out like its all an unfortunate joke and obviously the bank don't really want to lose you.

But do not waste anymore time speaking to thick employees who do not know much. Go straight to the manager.

MV

When you do get it written in English, out of curiousity, may we see a copy?


Their English might be different from ours!

Kaz, that would make sense asking to see the manager...but I'm afraid after dealing with that we were a bit put out, it might have ended in tears and not ours, so we had to leave.

I said the same thing to Geo leaving the bank, there must be other Brits here, that have the same trouble...

Trin, yes, quite! Gits all of 'em. I'd love to be a billionare, but sadly I'm still looking for my proverbial fortune - unless someone feels that they need to leave me a suitcase or two full of money on my doorstep (Houston Ave, Middletown, NY - Dentico residence ) I don't think that will happen anytime soon.

Pulling pens off chains - I didn't think of that

RDO, hello haven't seen you in a while. Yes you are quite right, but to say what she said, takes a very special talent..*chuckles*

Hellie, no worries I shall get it sometime. It was annoying but also very entertaining at the same time Geo's incredulous face was a right picture..poor abused hubbie..

Hello again Kaz, yes I agree about the bank manager and did mention I'd bet we'd get a different response at another bank. Neither of us felt like trying another bank yet - but when I do get other bits n' bobs of ID we shall go to a different branch. All very sound advice Kaz, thank you..

Lil... There is such a thing as British Eng and American Eng, but for all intents and purposes it was a daft thing to say

I'm fine and not at all scarred by this experience Wish I could say the same for Geo...*chuckles*

"RDO, hello haven't seen you in a while. Yes you are quite right, but to say what she said, takes a very special talent..*chuckles*"

I haven't been on for two months, internet troubles.

Daft thing to say, thats the understatement of the year!

What could she possibly have meant by "not written in English?" !
How frustrating for you...

Sorry to hear that RDO..well it appears to be working well now I hope it continues to run smoothly from now on.

Adel, I don't know.....I say some daft and bizzare things quite frequently and babble...if I'd have said that by mistake, I'd have laughed it off and well said something like, oh silly me...and took it from there...she didn't have a sense of humour at all...

I had a look at my passport to see what the bank-fiend could have meant - yes, there are other languages on the first page, but given that the English is about *twenty times bigger* than all the others ...

*Waves at Vix, relieved to be posting again ... touchwood!*

Yes, much bigger and diff colour writing if I recall right..can't go to look cos mine is in my handbag in the bedroom and Geo is snorin..I mean sleeping his head off...

But for your interest American passports - looking at Geos right now, are similar to ours in design and also have other languages on them..I think most passports do as a matter of course for you know..perhaps entering another country? *chuckles*

Gosh it must be daybreak for you now, Trin

Oo, no - there's a good half hour or so till daybreak

Other languages - entering another country - you know, you may just have something there!

Really?

I was just guessing you know, I'm not a clerical bank worker...I may be guessing wrongly

Goofy people!

Well, it's good you are so calm about it MV, I'd have to up my meds or start drinking (more) heavily to keep from going completely off in your shoes. I hope you can get something worked out there or at another bank.

Actually its the way that my life is for some reason Hellie! I've gotten used to it, I go in expecting the worst in a black humourous way and usually 9 times out of, you know - like say 5, nothing is ever straight forward for me.. So I'm not too disappointed, just rather, 'oh thats a novel thing to go wrong, I didn't expect that', or 'I knew you was going to say that, and here is this, oh, that doesn't work either..I knew it'

I have tried going in optimistic that everything will work out, hoping that good vibes will do it...but no...it doesn't work...*chuckles*

Best annoying hiccup I had was in applying for visa to move to the country, lots of paperwork completed later, I had to apply for a full birth certificate. For some people, this is easy to do, not me...I got the new certificate and the information was different on there to what my mom had been telling me..

To cut a long story short cos she wasn't talking, I had to go get sworn statement by solicitors (lawyers) because I had already filled in info and now this new birth certificate contradicted this...

How often does that happen? I have lots more stories like that too..

I was doing genealogy, starting with my parents (both dead) and I took yonks trying to get my mother's full BC. They kept telling me there was no such person, although she was born right here in NZ, and I had date, place and name. Then my sister told me, that Mum had confided in her that her original name had been Olive Norene, so I asked for that instead of Norah - success! that mother told her stuff and not me... (For some reason name changes go in another column and the BC is filed under original name, even though my grandparents had changed my Mum's name when she was still only 6 months old.