h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maidstone isnt that bad. Well...maybe. I dont live there, but i live close. How fun.

Maidstone is that bad I live here... well I've just recently escaped. I needed a GPS navigation system, a wad of cash and a very fast car... I made it just! By the way you forgot to mention the insane alcoholics of Barming. They eat cars for dinner!

Hello!
I live in Maidstone 5 months of the year and it's OK. I'm still not sure whether the town centre is too small or just right - it's got hippy shops so that's good.
And a blooming sheep. Literally. And a totem pole.
Hmmmm...maybe it is quite a strange place.

I live in Maidstone, some people are alright, but you do have to watch out for the chavs!
But hey, Ash played in Maidstone at the union bar, so it can't be that bad... can it?

There are a lot of wierd people in Maidstone, especially on Saturday at about mid day. There is a train from Chatham that arrives around that time, I've always considered these two facts to be strongly correllated. There are more music shops per square mile than most other towns, despite the closure of the OurPrice in Week Street, which isn't really too much of a loss. I am also convices that the term 'chav' and deriatives such as 'chavvy' and phrases such as 'gurn you chavvy boy, which makes no sense if you take the words literally, originated in Coxheath, near Maidstone.

Oh my god!! This piece was written over 5 years ago & nothing has changed!
There are still young kids walking around saying things like
"M'gon fair knock y'up the kerb, bur" (Translated:- I'm going to punch you so hard that it will raise you off of the ground a good few inches, brother) just because you look at their, held together with gold, tracksuit wearing, girlfriend/sister & that was because she'd just stole your shoes as you walked past!
Aah, but I wouldn't change it for the world............ No, actually, I would.

I heard somewhere that there are plans to build between Maidstone and the Medway towns, thus merging it all together and creating a kind of huge "chav" metropolis...

SilverStanleyKnife is the God of Maidstone, bow down to him and weep