Maidstone
Created | Updated Apr 23, 2002
Maidstone is a small town in England. It is the county town of kent, and is also known as a local hell-hole. Anyone who manages to navigate their way into Maidstone will have trouble finding their way out, and even if you do manage to escape, you never know if you're going in the direction of the place you wanted to leave Maidstone to get to.
Shopping. Maidstone is adequate for shopping, especially for music and also for candles and hippy equipment. If you want anything else, their is not much choice.
River Medway.
The River Medway runs through Maidstone. This brown slime pit is full of rare species including Sainsbury's Shopping trolleys and used condoms.
Coxheath. This small village on the outskirts of Maidstone is as close to hell on earth as they should allow. Never enter Coxheath unless you're wearing a bazooka proof vest. It is inhabited by gangs of illiterate youths who will savagely attack any strangers and also by nice old ladies who shout at the illiterate youths.
Boughton Monchelsea. This is another village near Maidstone. It could be likened to paradise, but paradise was never that boring. Boughton is always very, very boring. The green trees, the pretty church, the view of the valley, white deer and freindly inhabitants and village school, sod all interesting to do though.
Parkwood. If they ever build another nuclear bomb, Parkwood would be the best place to test it. They tried sending a missionary there once. The locals ate him.
Tovil. Land of the Tovilites. Home of a rubbish dump and TESCOS.
Shopping. Maidstone is adequate for shopping, especially for music and also for candles and hippy equipment. If you want anything else, their is not much choice.
River Medway.
The River Medway runs through Maidstone. This brown slime pit is full of rare species including Sainsbury's Shopping trolleys and used condoms.
Coxheath. This small village on the outskirts of Maidstone is as close to hell on earth as they should allow. Never enter Coxheath unless you're wearing a bazooka proof vest. It is inhabited by gangs of illiterate youths who will savagely attack any strangers and also by nice old ladies who shout at the illiterate youths.
Boughton Monchelsea. This is another village near Maidstone. It could be likened to paradise, but paradise was never that boring. Boughton is always very, very boring. The green trees, the pretty church, the view of the valley, white deer and freindly inhabitants and village school, sod all interesting to do though.
Parkwood. If they ever build another nuclear bomb, Parkwood would be the best place to test it. They tried sending a missionary there once. The locals ate him.
Tovil. Land of the Tovilites. Home of a rubbish dump and TESCOS.
