h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As is reasonably apparent, I'm now back from my holiday. It was fun – all very pleasant and all that, apart from a large quantity of vomit (not my own) – but I’m now thoroughly tired and craving a rest. It seems I’m not going to get a rest just yet, damn it.

Hobart is a funny place. Soaked in history by Australian standards, and fully aware of this, but somehow it's slipped from a glorious (if brutal) past into a slightly shabby present. Geography doesn't help either. It's right down the south of the island, in easy reach of Antarctic gales. It's also split in two by an estuary and rendered exhausting to pedestrians by the terrain. There are only a few flat patches of ground in the place and some of the suburbs have streets with a 40-degree gradient or worse. Hill Street is particularly well-named. Mellifont Street is similar. (African or Indian Mellifont? Nobody could tell me...)

Customer service is excellent in the tourist-trap parts of the city, and perfectly dreadful most other places. Prices in the tourist areas are extortionate of course. It's a good idea to cultivate friendships with local residents and stay with them, as I did. J and D are both well (more or less) and happy (ditto) and only one of them was rushed to hospital while I was there. It wasn't my cooking, and the emergency soon passed. Little G (age two and a half, more or less) produced most of the vomit alluded to above. Gosh there was a lot of it. But she recovered reasonably soon and amused herself (and alarmed her mother) with a new game involving opening a plastic bag and making retching noises into it – all of this with an evil glint in the eye.

Little G is a handful. I suspect her of being brighter than the average toddler. She runs rings around her parents, in both senses of the term, and is well aware of how to manipulate situations to her advantage. What lets her down is a fiery temper when she doesn't get exactly what she wants. On the positive side of things, books are her favourite toys. Of course she can't read them yet but it won’t be long. She makes up her own words as she goes along and seems to enjoy reading to her various stuffed animals. Her vocabulary is limited but she definitely understands more than she can articulate. I think she'd benefit from a slightly more strict parenting style. She dropped her natty old pink bear and started to whinge; J tried to get her to keep the noise down. I admit that I lost patience and said 'Get off your chair, pick the bear up and then get back on your chair'. G followed these instructions – even if she did look mutinous. She knew damn well that her mother was just about to pick the blasted thing up for her, you see.

I was assumed to be G's father a couple of times. J and D have dark hair; one has dark eyes, the other hazel. G is blonde with grey/blue eyes. I concede that G looks more like me than she does either of her parents. This is frankly rather strange, and a little unnerving. I can see what my non-existent and never-will-exist offspring might have looked like. But I'd rather not get into the metaphysics of the situation.

I must say at this point that I think J and D are doing a splendid job of being parents – especially considering the fact that they never wanted to be parents in the first place. It's just that my ideas of how to do the job don’t align completely with theirs. Yes, I would be more strict. But what they’re doing does seem to be working, so who am I to criticise?

J has made some true local friends, which is a bit of a relief. One of these made quite an impression upon me – tall, fair, intelligent, witty, a talented pianist... *sigh* But geographical issues are conspiring against us. Besides, I think when it comes down to it the age gap (more than a decade) would be a problem. But never mind. It's just nice to know that interesting individuals are out there somewhere.

Back to tourism. I did a lot of roaming about Hobart, and we did get a couple of days out in nearby bits of country, and there was a day-trip to Launceston, but mostly I just sort of drooped about with J and G when J wasn't at job interviews and G wasn't at the childcare centre. So there’s not a lot of tourist stuff to relate.

And yes there are photos. I'll get these into Fotki one of these days. I'm a bit too busy just at the moment... And I might do a separate entry about the Tasmanian Museum and Gallery, and what I thought about that. This will be a post-imperial anti-colonialist rant, if it eventuates.

Sounds like a pleasant if not exhausting time was had, must be great to get back to the quiet of home eh!

Hi Ivan, I promise I'm not ignoring you, I'm just feeling too blah to make a long post. Will be back to comment when feeling better.

It is indeed good to be home where it's so lovely and quiet.

Ellen - I'm sorry you're feeling blah. I'm feeling a bit blah too, in one way or another, so I quite understand.

It's always nice to have a break - but I always love to get back home.

Glad you had a good time but I'm with you on the parenting thing


Enjoy what's left of your weekend ... if anything.

Glad you are back Ivan, and have noticed that there are interesting people around I went off holidays years ago, as I wore myself out getting ready, then needed a holiday from the holiday when I got back. Tasmania sounds a very interesting place, but challenging for walkers and even those of us who can breathe reasonably well.

Take care,

Websailor

Welcome back, Ivan. I'm glad your trip was enjoyable (more or less) and there was relatively little vomit.

Children that age do seem to have that temper in common. Even the sweetest will whinge and throw an occasional tantrum. But gosh, some of them can be just horrid (like the little darlings whose parents let them run around the grocery store with those little mini shopping carts [clearly invented by someone who had either never encountered a small child or who just hates adults] and use them to ram the backs of your ankles).

I'm looking forward to seeing those photos, sometime.

*giggles*


So G is turning into the Tasmanian Devil?

What fun!

I'm not sure that 'fun' is the word - but as I'm now back on a separate land mass, it's not my problem.

The photos might get loaded tonight, or they might not... Within the week, anyway.

There are some holidays that fall into the category of 'a change being as good as a rest'. I've had few of them over the years.

holiday mmmm! I'll look that upI've a faint memory of one

Me too

glad you made it back, and had a good time

Hel2!

Sounds great, Ivan I really like Hobart - but I stuck to the flat bits on the whole... and the botanic gardens. If you think that's hilly, you should visit Wellington

Ahh! Holiday trips - nice twice, when you go there and when you get back home. As about toddlers, I am just terribly afraid of them, paranoid perhaps. Even if I know that I can return them to their parents and .
Hobart sounds like a different planet to me. I had another look at your old photos of Tasmania, now I'm waiting for the new ones.

Helly! I'll see you on MSN, one of these days...

Fb, I *still* haven't seen the botanic gardens. Whenever there was time to do so, it started bucketing down - with the exception of the time we were almost at the gate when four coachloads of rather raucous pensioners descended upon the place, reducing any chance we had of getting a bench to sit on down to zero. (We went on a winery crawl instead. It's a tough life.)

What I *have* seen, repeatedly, is the secondhand bookshop in Imperial Arcade, Collins Street. The 7kg of books that wouldn't fit in my (almost overweight) luggage arrived in today's post.

Hati, I'm trying to upload the photos now. This might take a while...

The best with toddlers nowadays is that they're not your own . That means that you can give them back when they smell, are unruly or you're downright fed up.

Nothing that was possible twenty years ago. Of course I was twenty years younger (odd since I don't think I've grown older... ) and thus in the childrearing age of my life and more patient with toddlers - and also responsible of a bunch.

I'm also waiting for pictures, Tasmania is another place I've not been to and that is on my list. Did you find the Tasmanian Devil?

The only devils I saw were toy ones in the shops.

Photos: http://public.fotki.com/Pseudo-Ivan/tasmania-november-2008/

That's a random selection. I'll put them all up properly later. Right now, it's bedtime...