h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To keep this from being _completely_ confusing, some distinction should probably be made between the various regions... I mean, you wouldn't want to use Suthrun slang in New York, and inner-city Ebonics wouldn't be appropriate in Cali. America is large. Very, very large.

Southern slang has been pretty well documented in todays popular culture, thanks to comedians such as Jeff Foxworthy.

I would like to add:

carry (to take with, as opposed to pick up) as in "I'm going to carry y'all *plural* to the movies"

Red Headed Step Child - not the best thing in the world to be - as in "they treat me like a red headed step child, they won't let me do anything"

Pallet - a small bed made up on the floor as in "Make up a pallet for the baby to sleep on"

Non southern slang

I always shudder when I hear this one:

put down - send to bed - as in "Put the kiddies down for a nap" this one makes me think of "putting a dog down" (killing them)

All kinds of regions have their own slangs, but they do mix about a bit. You can sometimes hear a Californian say "y'all" or a Southerner who say "dude." But a general breakdown would look something like this...
Small areas that have a language entirely there own:
New York City
Boston
San Fernando Valley (Northern part of Los Angeles, this is where "valley talk" comes from. The rest of California doesn't sound so stupid)
Other areas:
Deep South (home of rednecks)
Texas (they speak their own redneckese)
New England states (althought the accent is sometimes mistaken for true Bostonian)
Louisiana
Hillbilly zone (my own name given to people in the not-so-deep south states of West Virginia, Kentucky, and Tennesee. Some hillbillies can also be found in Eastern Virginia and parts of Pennsylvania)
Midwest (home of cheeseheads, hoosiers, and other such types, but there's really little difference between them)
West Coast
Hawaii (of course their slang comes from the original language)

If it seems like a huge portion of the country has been left out, it's because not enough people llive there to create their own languages

We should also consider the difference between "hick" and true "redneck" or "hillbillie". I think, for the most part, almost anyone living outside of a large urban area probably has a bit of a drawl or twang to their speach, but true "rednecks" only live in the South. Their accent is much more exaggerated and they usually hear them end a sentence with...

"Whut are you, sum kinda faggit?"

Slang commonly in use in Canada(Americans will use some of these):

F**kin' A!:Well THAT'S all right, then! Sounds great to me!
In-F**kin'-credible!(also A-F**kin'-mazing!): expression of surprise.
F**k-all:nothing. As in "I did F**k-all today at work".
Holy F**k!:expression of amazement.

Using the "F" word to replace punctuation:
exclamation point:"Who stole my smokes F**k"
question mark:"What the F**k"
comma:"I bought milk F**k eggs F**k bread F**k and cereal."

Well, Sh*t!:that certainly is surprising news!
Sh*t, yeah!:I heartily concur!
Move yer sh*t!:please remove these articles belonging to you.
Sh*t-box (name of car here):delapidated jalopy.
That stereo is the sh*t(you the sh*t): the best. Interchangeable with
"That stereo is the cat's ass!"
He knows his sh*t:he is a respected expert on the subject.
He doesn't know sh*t from shinola:he is unaware of the complexities
of what we are discussing.
Don't sh*t on my cornflakes:please don't spoil my good mood.
We were sh*tting ourselves:we were extremely scared, (not to be
confused with "We were pissing ourselves" which means, of course,
that much merriment was enjoyed by all parties.)
...and sh*t:used in place of etcetera.
He's a good sh*t:he's a worthwhile human being(also, "He's a good
head").

Drinking slang:
BYOB:an event whose policy is "Bring Your Own Bottle(or Beer, for
functions where the two are synonomous)
Ripped:extremely drunk(also wasted, smashed, buzzed, three sheets to
the wind, wrecked, gone, loaded, 'faced or sh*t-faced)
brewski:a pseudo-hip term for a hop-based beverage.
some beers:plural of "a beer" of course.
shooter:a mixture of hard liquors to be consumed at a gulp.
dive:a bar which is not known for having distinguished patrons.
beer nuts:nuts intended to be eaten while drinking beer. Some may be
honey or sugar-coated.
DD:designated driver. Someone who has agreed to remain relatively
sober for driving everybody home.
tab:a running credit for alcoholic beverages. (ie. put that on my tab)
smokes:cigarettes.

Eh:don't you agree?, are you listening?, right?, replaces question-mark, comma or period.
Buddy:replaces "he", as in "Buddy stole all my smokes, eh?"

A few general-purpose derogatory terms:
pecker-head, asswipe, dickwad, dildo, numbnuts