h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The form is tidy, that is. For a concrete poem, it is good. And, uh . .. the lines are attractive, but . . . you wrote a message on a vase? That sounds a bit contrived. Form should not come before substance, even in concrete poetry.

It is meant as a joke. Someone wonders why the poem is vase shaped, then realizes that the poem is a message writen on a vase. I have, as a sculpture, a similar poem carved into a bar of soap, and another in an artificial stick of butter.

The Ancient Egyptians and Ancient Greeks and Babylonians wrote on vases in RL.

Bit defensive, aren't we?
No, it's a cool poem and all, but the vase would smash, wouldn't it, if youthrew it out the window? In which case a funnier poem would be in fragments about the page. Even then, though, the vase is simply too ridiculous to allow the audience member to laugh. The bar of soap, now, that makes sense, and accomplishes your goal . . . the reader wonders why the poem is on a bar of soap, and when they find out, they laugh.

Well, the vase could be plastic, and it could have been a first-story bathroom window.