h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are these creatures a new species of homo sapiens or a subspecies? I guess this would relate to their ability to breed with humans other than their cousins!
I believe the Williams are the ones who developed the term "Kissing Cousins"!
And you left out how to tell the age of one of these creatures - the further his belt buckle points toward the ground(as the size of the beer belly increases), the older the individual male is (much like a silverback gorilla)!

Good stuff though!!

Thank you!

Possibly a sub-species.. Or even perhaps the missing link.

Oh.. And the beltbuckle test has more to do with the cooking skills of the females within the family unit than the actual age of the males.

I would tend to disagree with that...
Cooked possum isn't the reason for the large girth of most males -
I think it is more related to the quantity of beer he guzzles!

The only problem with that theory is that excessive amounts of guzzled beer tend to be ... erm... 'recycled' rather quickly, and if (or in this case, -when-) the cycle is repeated frequently, tend to make more than one pathway for recycling.

On the other hand, silo-drippings tend to contain more vegetable fats, so you may actually be on to something.

Unfortunately I've seen far too many boney hillbillies, so I'm going to have to stick to the 'possum theory. Besides... have you *seen* one of those things cookin' ??? Can you say 'grease' ?

My fambly comes from the hills of Pennsylvania, just a stone's throw from West Virginny - of course I've seen cooked possum...
What do think we eat at Christmas dinner - ham?!?

Heehee...

Our famblies musta been neighbours sometime in the past, then, 'cause my great grandfather was born in Hungry Holler, WV. We can't find it on any maps.

Luckily for me, seeing it cook was as close as I came.

Aktuly, opossums is quite tasty, 'speshully when fried with a bit o' ginger an' some ramps (a sort o' wild onion). Also, me n' my kinfolk have found that after they been run over a few times, an' been nicely flattened (keep that spatula in the gun rack, along with the shotgun an' fishin' pole) they fit real good in the ole' waffle iron, an' git that crunchy on the outside, greasy on the inside, kind o' thang that's so hard to git at most drive-thru's nowadays.

LOL ... Bet those spatulas come in handy fer more'n jest possim, too!

'Coons could give ya bout the same 'fect.

Doan fergit grounhogs!!

Now that's good eatin'!

Groundhog, parsnips, poke salad and elderberry pie... Yuuuum, yum.

Hey! I was just kidding!

(Groundhog is about the greasiest thing I've ever seen! )