h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's May and I'm in Sydney and I think its cold. I know that May is Autumn here but I know that it is probably like many summer days in England. I'm very disappointed with myself for getting so soft!

It's no better here, VB, if that's any comfort?

I sympathise. I moved south after 25 years in the north, and now when I go back there to visit my parents I always freeze.

That's cos you've been running around in a singlet and you've been assimilated

Poo, that was meant to be

Do they do such a thing as a fleece vest?

Running round in a vest while being assimilated is regarded as being overdressed by some people. It reminded me of the Spike Milligan story of many years ago when he had a dodgy tummy and pooed his posh suit pants.

He had been heading for the station when the unfortunate event happened so he ran into M&S (keeping on the move so that nobody could pinpoint the smell). He picked up a pair of trousers and headed straight for the till. The till was very busy and eventually the harassed assistant wrapped his purchase which he grabbed and headed to the train station and jumped on his train. Once in the toilet he stripped off the old trousers and underwear and threw them out of the window. He then cleaned himself up and opened the M&S parcel to find that he had picked up the wrong package. He now had no clothes below the waist and a ladies pink button up cardigan.

He pushed his legs down the arms and did up the buttons but his accoutrements hung out of the neck hole. He solved this problem by inserting his bowler hat in the neck hole and boldly walking out as if this was the latest fashion.