h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Olympic Games football kicked off tonight, and Australia was beaten, marginally, by a flukey Italian team with a lucky goal. I suspect the Australians are in for a lot of that sort of thing over the next couple of weeks...!

I had one of the most disconcerting experiences of my adult life at the gym, this afternoon. I was talking to one of the other gym regulars while warming up prior to the evening aerobic class, and he stopped me as I was engaging in conversation to inform me that he was ‘not gay', with the clear implication that he was working under the assumption that I was, and that I was conversing with him for the sole purpose of cracking on to him. I was somewhat stunned, to put it mildly. His suspicion and hostility were overwhelming, and I simply had no idea that people would even be able to form that impression of me. I was very nearly choking on my own bile as I listened to the poor guy apologise for his gaffe, once I had corrected the misapprehension. The apology was almost more offensive than the misapprehension itself, given my friendship with a lot of gay people and my limited understanding of the issues involved, but by then I couldn't really trust my own judgement about what was right and what was wrong in sociability. I just smiled, nodded, and backed cautiously away. I am now very confused, and I don't like being confused like that...

On a more positive note, the weather today was fabulous, clear, bright and warm, and C.I.T. have evidently been given the go-ahead for the Fitness Instructor's course, as the bill for the course appeared in my letter box. I am still unsure about C.I.T., though, and I will have to ring up to be sure the course is really happening before I commit money to it...

Gay men at the gym? Whatever next??

You should keep a big clipboard around with a big long piece of paper attached to it entitled "GAY MEN I AM CURRENTLY STALKING AND PLAN TO HAVE SEX WITH WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT" and have a big marker.

That way, when something like that happens, you can let your face fall, pull out the clipboard and pretend to put a line through the other guy's name.

Then you should spit on him.

KL, you've made me laugh my way out of the blues, yet again - do you have going rates, or is this just a free sample...!?

bubster, I had a feeling that you'd want to comment on this one, but it is a bit of a disturbing development: I thought I went to a gym populated largely by nice people, but it turns out I was wrong (at least about some of the people). This is a bit of a disillusionment. Secondly, anything which limits my own chances of picking up is not a good thing, although thankfully I don't think too many women actually think of me in this way...!

Gay men at the gym? It stunned me too...

I am a girly-girl, but I have broad shoulders, short hair, a lot of personality and self-confidence... every now and then someone thinks I'm gay. When that happens I make sure to snog the first female friend I can find. After all, people who are determined to box other people into pre-conceived notions are unballanced and skittish individuals. Gotta keep 'em placid or they'll come at you with an uzi.

At least gay and straight people who are comfortable with both gay and straight people aren't dangerously unstable.

oh and FREE!! Ha ha! My inane witicisms have ALWAYS been free. I'm not clever like beeline so I can charge.

If you think about it Hypo, HE's clearly the insecure one: after all, he assumed that you assumed that HE was gay. The best thing to do when someone says "I'm not gay" is to say "You're kidding? You're straight? Who'd've thought." Works a treat.

Meanwhile, your problem is probably that you've done too much aerobics in your time and have therefore developed a sense of rhythm. A straight man with a sense of rhythm is an extremely rare beast.

Or a musician.

When Andy and I broke up I actually said to men that hit on me...

"I only date models or musicians. Which are you?"

It was terrible, but because I wasn't actually interested in dating it made me feel pretty good and powerful. Also my friends thought it was a laugh.

You could presumably try that reply with the women who try to hit on you, too...!

Yes, oh guru of chimeric identity, I acknowledge that he's the insecure one *breathes carefully and concentrates in very secure fashion* but he's also bigger than me...!

Anyway, KL, looking at the pics you've put up of Andy, he reminds me a lot of a rugby player I used to know named Len. You wouldn't have any chimeric identities hanging around your place, would you...?

LOL!! No, but he did play rugby at school with his friend Mark. Andy and I both have the kinds of faces that people tend to think they recognize. I don't know why.